Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Freddy as F.R.O.7 (1992):
An international cast of stars, headed by Ben (Gandhi) Kingsley, lend their voices to this disturbingly irrational animated adventure. Freddy is an enchanted frog who evolves into a six-foot tall, talking, singing, sports car driving, cap and ascot-wearing secret agent for Her Majesty's government. Along the way he meets the various mystical musical mutants, including the Loch Ness Monster. Freddy is the Eraserhead of big screen cartoons.

Freddie flopped. It received poor reviews in its home country, the United Kingdom, and despite huge media coverage of the making of the film on television and huge publicity, the public just weren't interested in the concept. A sequel, Freddie Goes To Washington was already in the works long before this film was released, but because of the poor performance at the box office, the project was shelved, never to be seen or heard of again.

Another impact to its fall was that it was made by an independent company, Hollywood Animation Studios. At the time, Disney was at its peak with its new releases, meaning other companies, such as Sullivan Bluth Studios (known for An American Tail and The Land Before Time) couldn't compete with the popularity of Disney.

The fact the film was a flop in the UK meant that overseas, the distributors released the film straight to video. An alternate version in the United States, not released until three years later, includes a title change (Freddie The Frog) and a new narration from James Earl Jones. Parts of the animation were also cut, including that of Freddie transforming Messina into a buzzard, and an almost entire song from the UK version was trimmed, replaced with a narration that was dubbed over by Jones. The film has more recognition in the States, and while some have praised the film, others either refer to it as a bad animated movie or a nasty acid trip. Despite this, it is still a very little known animated film, which to this date has never been released on DVD.

Lost Bond Spoof


As the reigning teen idol of 21 Jump Street and Booker, Richard Grieco tested the big screen in this farce. If Looks Could Kill should be admired for the ripping off virtually every Bond film with shameless abandon while thankfully staying away from the slapstick of Spy Hard or the hallucinogenic stupidity of Casino Royale.

Grieco is Michael Corbin, high-school slacker (even though Grieco was 26 at the time) who goes to Paris with his French class for a much-needed foreign language credit. Naturally there’s a super-spy booked on the same flight who just happens to have the same name. Convenient confusion results, the spy Corbin is killed, and the student Corbin is suddenly the target of a maniacal would-be dictator (Roger Rees), his diminutive assassin (Linda Hunt), a big-breasted femme fatale named "Aureola" (wink, wink), and a large man with a steel hand who grunts a lot and bumbles around with the same endearing buffoonery that made Jaws so popular.

Bond references hurled at the viewer en masse. Taken by the British Secret Service to their laboratory, Corbin is given the traditional gadgets: explosive chewing gum, x-ray glasses, and a Lotus Esprit complete with tuxedo in the trunk. Before long he’s -- you guessed it -- playing baccarat with the villain in a casino, introducing himself as "Corbin ... Michael Corbin," and gallivanting around the countryside with a beautiful waif (Gabrielle Anwar in an early role) bent on revenge. All this time, his French class and their witch of a teacher get mistaken for a group of mercenaries and are kidnapped, then released, then kidnapped again, without ever realizing it.

Taken in context, If Looks Could Kill is a hysterically funny romp through the warped mind of a screenwriter intent on going way over the top. As such, the only time the film falters is when it slows down to needlessly develop the obligatory romantic subplot. Aside from some violence that borders on disturbing in the comedic way it’s played, there’s nothing even remotely serious about this film.

Predictably, If Looks Could Kill was hammered by most critics. But in a daring move, Roger Ebert gave it a "thumbs up" and said it "plays like a head-on collision between [James] Bond and Indiana Jones, if the primary goal of both of those heroes was transcendent silliness." If Looks Could Kill gives us the best of all worlds: it’s a Bond spoof made with a big budget and written securely in contemporary comedic style.

And whatever happened to Richard Grieco? He released a music CD in Europe and can be found on his Official Web Site ( ohhh sorry its been defunct for quite some time.) Well...
You can find pictures of Richard at

As for the movie? It is not offered on netflix simply because WARNER BROS has not bothered to make DVDs. The last release was on February 7th 1995 on fabulous VHS. Check your local thrift store.

Stand Tall Be Proud

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The year 1979 brought us ALIEN and...

For Y'ur Height Only

(1979) Directed by Raymond Jury. Stars: Weng Weng.

A totally ridiculous, excessively tasteless ‘70s Filipino lensed rip-off of James Bond movies with a three-foot-nothing superspy, codename: 00. That's right, double-oh-nothin'.

I have a soft spot for Bond outings (as most folks do) and an even softer one for rip-offs and spoofs.

Starring Weng Weng (pronounced Wang - can you see the jokes off in the distance?), a three-foot tall Aztec-lookin’ burn victim dude with a Moe Howard haircut and an Elvis white suit (the freakin’ lapels are about as wide as he is tall!). Voiced by someone who has seen WHATS UP TIGERLILY too many times. He sounds like a cross between David Sedaris and a rrrreeeeeaaaallllly gay deaf Paul Rubens. This secret agent extraordinaire is called into action to take down the nefarious Mr. Giant. A powerful villain (we know this because he communicates with people though a internally lit beauty mirror that makes cheesy Dr. Thoeopolous noises) who has kidnapped a famous scientist who has created the formula for an "N" bomb that could end life as we know it.(Yep like the one Michael Richards dropped a few times didn't do the trick?) Mr. Giant also runs a drug cartel and has lots of worthless henchmen that get their nuts kicked by a elf in a leisure suit. (or is he a dwarf?) The henchmen are voiced by people who know damn well no one will ever see this so they pull out all the stops. Bogart, Cagney and Lorre are all present. These voices are not acceptible for a Simpsons episode but oddly they flourish here.
Before 00 takes on the case of busting Mr. Giant’s nefarious plan of world domination he is fully outfitted with the latest secret agent gadgetry – toys that would have James Bond having tantrums of envy and demanding a pay rise. First up there is a fabulous pendent that is to be used for “two way communication” and a ring (that he never needs to use) which detects all poisons. He is also given what his boss describes as a real “humdinger” of a gun that has been specially designed for 00 keeping in mind his physique. There is also a nifty looking grey hat which makes Odd Job’s accessory seem like an flaccid antique. This lethal weapon of a hat does everything Odd Job’s memorable hat did but so much more. This deadly grey hat can be deployed in any hairy situation and once set in motion it is controlled by the poison detecting ring. He is also given a nifty looking pen that doubles as a deadly killer dart gun as well as a utility belt. This belt is equipped with all sorts of deadly high tech wizardry but perhaps its most telling attribute is its ability to “slice through steel bars” when the need might arise. He also already has a fantastic watch in his possession that performs a host of sophisticated functions. Finally he is given a set of brilliant shades which when employed allows one to see through people’s clothing and even the thickest material. Rayon and lead clear as crystal! So 00 is thoroughly decked out with the finest gadgets as he sets off on his mission to bring Mr. Giant to justice and to crush his burgeoning crime syndicate. For the most part the use of the gadgets is a useless payoff as his first line of defense is to kick an opponent in the balls. Lots of ball kicking. I mean... lots.
It's a little Bond (ba dam chi) and a little Enter the Dragon, as Weng must wend his way into the hideout of Mr. Giant only to find Mr. Giant is also a kung-fu ass-kickin’ shorty too!
A fine film indeed.

Talk about your suck ass cartoons!

Boy I cant tell you how much I hate this cartoon!

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home chronicles the lives of the Boyles, your average 1970's American family. Harry Boyle, the father, owns a restaurant supply company. His wife Irma portrays the typical housewife, with an occasional independent flare. Harry and Irma have three children: Chet, Alice, and Jamie. Chet, who is 22, is a college dropout, who spends most of his time sleeping. Alice is a rather robust 16-year-old, who teams up with her mother, to display the independence of women, in the 70's. Jamie is the Capitalist of the family, even though he is only 9.

The show is set in the suburbs of Los Angeles, on Elm Street, to be precise.

During the 1973 season, the show was host to many celebrity voices, including: Don Knotts, Phyllis Diller, Maude, and many more. The reason for this was that many of these guests were carried over from The New Scooby-Doo Movies, which was recording at the time.

According to Joe Barbera's biography the show should have been a hit; however, the show was produced on a low budget at another studio, so it did not see the success that it might have, if it was produced at Hanna-Barbera Studios.


* Harry Boyle - Tom Bosley
* Irma Boyle his wife - Joan Gerber
* Alice Boyle his daughter - Kristina Holland
* Chet Boyle the oldest son - David Hayward
* Jamie Boyle the youngest son - Jackie Haley
* Ralph the neighbor - Jack Burns

Opening Song Lyrics:

I love my Mom and Dad and my brothers too,

And the groovy way we get along,

But every time the slightest little thing goes wrong,

Mom starts to sing this familiar song.

Wait till your father gets, until your father gets,

Wait till your father gets home.

Dad's not so bad, and he seldom gets mad,

And we aren't about to desert him.

Kids today like to have their own way,

And what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him.

I think my Mom's just swell, but she starts to yell,

Everytime we have a ruck,

Just wait till your father gets, until your father gets,

Wait till your father gets home.

Avenge Me Sparklefoot Prancer!

Finally an action figure for little fat boys who get beat up for loving unicorns. This is like a "Bobby Hill" wet dream!

He's a genius and a madman.

Reflections of Evil is a 2002 cult film by independent filmmaker Damon Packard that depicts the descent into madness and death of an obese, homeless watch salesman played by Packard. Using unconventional editing, Packard splices scenes together with nostalgic commercials and B-movies of the 1970s while also blending together several tangential narratives. The film also makes several oblique references to 9/11 and conspiracy theories including the notion of chemtrails. In an interview, Packard claimed, "I barely scratched the surface of this area" Reflections of Evil conveys heavy motifs of anger, fear, alientation, and madness.

A surreal end sequence that was filmed illegally at Universal Studios in Hollywood (including the ET Adventure) earned Packard a lifetime ban from the theme park. One only wonders if Spielberg himself has seen the film. Rumor has it that Spielberg and Lucas have tried to sue Packard.

The film was distributed by Packard himself, who literally stuffed mailboxes with his film and handed out copies around Los Angeles, California , although Packard admits that the result was less than spectacular. He has jokingkly claimed that his next film will be titled, "No Response: The Movie". I recieved my copy after Packard blanketed the parking of my old work with DVD's on everyones winshield. Mana from Hell! This film is the best I have seen. It is infectious. I cant truly describe the impact of this film. You have to see it. If you were born between 1964 and 1974 this movie will affect you. If you were born after that I suspect you will hate it.
Packard made 62,000 DVD copies of the film available for free, as well as sending thousands of them them to celebrities whose reactions were hilariously recorded on his website His Reflections spoof of a young Steven Spielberg, a director he claimed to admire, was matched by his later assault on George Lucas in The Untitled Star Wars Mokumentary (2003), in which he intercut actual footage of Lucas with staged shots of disgruntled Lucas employees. A cult hero to underground film devotees, Packard remains obscure to the public at large while continuing to turn out his odd pastiches that some regard as genius.

Packard is a resident of Eaglerock Californina and has claimed that copies of the film can be found, from time to time, at the Bank Of America ATM on Colorado Blvd. I unfortunally gave my copy away and have to actually purchase another. PURCHASE! Thats how good this film is. When have you known me to buy ANY entertainment?

Shadoe Stevens

While he has gone on to have a mediocre voice-over career he will forever be known as Fred Rated of Federated.

Monday, January 29, 2007

By the horns of everything satanic.

I know its a Christmas movie but I just had to share. Watch for the part where lil' Lupita sees two creepy hand puppets have rough man-puppet sex. If you can sit thru that there is a section later on where Lupita dreams of two-faced dancing zombies that emerge from flip top coffins.
The zombies show Lupita their knickers.

Here is more from the same film:

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Jim Morrison

Without the hair he was just a pudgy dork who couldn't act.

Sid Davis inspired

Why Yes Billy. Not only did Sid Davis help save the world from itself He also inspired others to make their own films.

Why heres one now:

And with all the wonderful credits at the end of this little film it seems that everyone wants to bang the Sid Davis drum.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sid Davis Productions Presents

Sidney Davis (born 1 April 1916 - 16 October 2006, Palm Desert, California) was a United States social guidance film director and producer. Born to a father who was a housepainter and a mother who was a dressmaker, Davis moved to Hollywood, California with his family when he was four. He began work in film as a child, getting bit parts to help his family financially. Davis went on to become a stand-in for Leif Erickson and later John Wayne.

In November 1949, Linda Joyce Glucoft, a six-year-old girl in Los Angeles, California, was molested and murdered by a man named Fred Stroble. The story was front-page news in the Los Angeles Times for a week as police and the FBI searched for Stroble. The story was picked up by Time Magazine and other national media, and led to a flurry of reported rapes and attempted rapes. Some media began to speculate that the supposed epidemic of rape was simply media manipulation of public perception.

Davis claimed that he was disturbed by the case, particularly because his daughter, Jill, then six years old, didn't seem to pay enough attention to his warnings about strangers. He approached John Wayne for a $1,000 loan and used the money to make his first film, The Dangerous Stranger, a film he would remake at least twice over the next 30 years. The film tells the story of several young children -- some of the children are kidnapped and eventually saved, others are kidnapped and never seen again.

Davis sold the film to schools and police departments and within a short time had made $250,000 from it. He used the money to make more than 150 films over the next few decades. Davis's films are typically 10 to 30 minutes long; Davis prided himself on making each one for $1,000, a minuscule sum for a film, even at that time.

His films cover topics such as driver safety, marijuana use, heroin addiction, and gang warfare, among other things. Live and Learn (1956), a fairly famous Davis film, features Davis' daughter Jill cutting out paper dolls in her room. When her father comes home Jill jumps up, trips on the carpet, and impales herself on the scissors. Other children in the film are equally unlucky -- falling off cliffs, being run over by cars, or losing vision in one eye from flying shards of glass.

One of Davis' most notorious films is Boys Beware (1961), which warns boys of the perceived dangers of male homosexuals. The film includes the line "What Jimmy didn't know was that Ralph was sick -- a sickness that was not visible like smallpox, but no less dangerous and contagious--a sickness of the mind. You see, Ralph was a homosexual: a person who demands an intimate relationship with members of their own sex." The same year, Davis made Girls Beware, warning girls not to put themselves into situations where they would be defenseless, a topic that Davis had covered at least 10 years earlier in his film Name Unknown, in which a man with a gun holds up a couple in isolated surroundings, forcing the boy into the trunk of the car and raping the girl.

Also in 1961, Davis made the film Seduction of the Innocent, targeting teenagers with the message that marijuana use leads to heroin addiction, a message that many marijuana activists dispute as an example of a slippery slope fallacy. The film follows a teenage girl through her experimentation with "reds", "pep pills", and 7-Up, to her first puff of marijuana, to experimentation with and addiction to heroin, to her fate as a prostitute arrested on her twentieth birthday, "lost to society." The film promises that "she'll continue her hopeless, degrading existence until she escapes in death."

Davis' work is consistently about a relatively small group of themes: that strangers must be treated with caution, that the world itself is an unfriendly place, regardless of the presence of strangers, and that children must think before acting. His films typically feature monotonous narration suffused with what Mental Hygiene author Ken Smith calls a "sledgehammer morality." His work, though largely anecdotal and unschooled, is notable among social guidance films because Davis covered topics that larger, more scholarly film producers such as Coronet Films and Encyclopædia Britannica wouldn't touch for years. Coronet, Centron Corporation, and Britannica typically had teams of scholars with PhDs in sociology guiding development of their films. Davis, when he used consultants, rarely used anyone with a degree in a relevant field, though he did often use policeman and detectives for their anecdotal advice.

Aside from his educational films, generally known for their bleakness and simplistic presentations, Davis made police training films such as Shotgun or Sidearm? (explaining which situations call for which firearms) and military films such as LAPES and PLADS (explaining delivery systems developed to allow planes to drop supplies onto exact locations in generally hostile territory in Vietnam).

Two atypical films in his educational film canon are Gang Boy and Age 13, filmed in 1954 and 1955, respectively. Both were written and directed by Art Swerdloff. In Gang Boy, Mexican and Anglo gangs in southern California declare a truce and begin working together to make a better world for their younger siblings. The film was based on a true story that happened in Pomona in the 1950s.

After a few years of directing films, Davis continued as a cinematographer for his company, Sid Davis Productions, hiring others such as Art Swerdloff, Robert D. Ellis, and Ib Melchior to write and direct. Later he hired cinematographers to lens the films as well as office workers to distribute them, and spent his time climbing mountains instead.

Yes its the classic BOYS BEWARE. Beware of the sick "humasex'yall"
and its companion GIRLS BEWARE. Beware of EVERYTHING!

Friday, January 26, 2007

T.V. growing up. Its a wonder I'm alive

Big John, Little John
was a Saturday morning NBC sitcom from 1976 produced by Sherwood Schwartz which starred Robbie Rist as the young lead, and Herb Edelman as the elder John.
The show centered around a 45-year-old school teacher named John Martin (played by Edelman). While vacationing in Florida, he discovered the real Fountain of Youth. He took a small drink from it and changed into a 12-year-old boy (played by Rist), and back again. Martin had no control over when the change would occur. Only his immediate family knew about the recurring changes and, to explain the appearance of the 12-year-old John, claimed that he was their nephew.
Throughout the series, John unsuccessfully tried to find a cure for his predicament.

Carter Country was an American television sitcom, that ran from 1977 to 1979 on ABC. It was set in a small town in Georgia (presumably near the part of the state from which U.S. President Jimmy Carter hailed, thus the title), and featured Victor French as white police chief Roy Mobey and Kene Holliday as city-bred, college-educated, African-American Sergeant Curtis Baker. It also featured Richard Paul as Mayor Burnside (who coined a minor catchphrase with his manic, "Handle it, handle it, handle it!"), Harvey Vernon as officer Jasper DeWitt, and Barbara Cason as town employee Cloris Phebus. Additional comic support was provided by Texas-born actor Guich Koock who played the part of goofy deputy Harley. Vernee Watson rounded out the cast. The plot was centered around the stereotypical racism of the Deep South. The show was often characterized as being an irreverent, comedic version of the movie In the Heat of the Night.

Out of the Blue was a short-lived American fantasy-based sitcom that aired on the American Broadcasting Company during the fall of 1979. It was a spin-off of Happy Days, patterned after Mork & Mindy.

The series starred Jimmy Brogan as Random, an angel-in-training who is assigned to live with (and act as guardian angel for) a family and work as a high school teacher. The series co-starred Dixie Carter (later of Designing Women) and Eileen Heckart.

The unsuccessful series aired from September 9 to December 16, 1979.

Oh my God then there was yet another Happy Days spin off:

Blansky's Beauties premiered February 12, 1977 .
Nancy Blansky ( Nancy Walker) was den mother to a bevy of beautiful Las Vegas showgirls in this short-lived comedy. In addition to keeping order in the chaotic apartment complex where they all lived, Nancy staged the girls' big numbers at the Oasis Hotel.
Emilio (Johnny Desmond), the matire'd, was Nancy's boyfriend. To help Nancy defray costs of her apartment, Sunshine (Lynda Goodfriend) and Bambi (Caren Kaye) shared it with her, along with her nephews Joey DeLuca (Eddie Mekka), a choreographer, and leering, 12-year-old ("going on 28"), Anthony DeLuca (Scott Baio). Anthony was forever trying to impress Bambi, who much to his chargin treated him like a kid brother, as did almost all of Nancy's girls. Also sharing Nancy's apartment was a huge Great Dane named Blackjack who was shown in the opening credits playing blackjack.

Wait, now lets see:
Happy Days was a spin off of...
LOVE AMERICAN STYLE (Love and the Happy Days)
From Happy Days we have:

Jonie Loves Chachi.
Laverne and Shirley.
Blansky's Beauties.
Mork and Mindy.
Out of the Blue.

Man, Happy Days was not even a funny show.

Items found in the UCSD archive

Items located in the Mandeville Special Collections Library
Geisel Library University of California, San Diego.

A great place to start your research on the 5,000 fingers of Dr T?

5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Screenplay, rough notes.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Screenplay, first draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, first draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, second draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, second draft, unannotated.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, second draft, unannotated.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, second draft, unannotated.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, revised second draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1951. Screenplay, revised second draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1952. Screenplay, final draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, 1952. Screenplay, revised final draft.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Still photographs.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Set designs.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Costume design and character sketches.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Movie sketches.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Photocopies of sketches.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Miscellaneous preliminary sketches.
5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Music scores.
5000 Fingers of Dr. T - 5 disks, demos, 1951. [4877]
5000 Fingers of Dr. T - Victory Procession #1. Metal master, 3/26/52. [4790]

Whoa! Look who strapped on a sac!

Good for her!
If jar jar binks were here he'd do it!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A little more about THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR T

Seuss's live action feature film The 5000 Fingers of Doctor T represents the fullest elaboration of Seuss's conception of children as "thwarted people," struggling to find their own voice in a world dominated by dictatorial adult authorities. When we read through Seuss's notes and original drafts for the script, we see strong evidence that he was consciously mapping permissive child rearing doctrines over images associated with the Second World War.

5000 Fingers deals with the plight of an average American boy, Bartholomew Collins (Tommy Rettig), who finds learning to play the piano a threat worse than death.His instructor, Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried), is an old school authoritarian, who insists that "practice makes perfect" and who demands constant drill and repetition. The bulk of the film consists of Bartholomew's dream, in which he and the other boys rise up and overthrow the dictatorial Terwilliker and his plans to dominate the world through his music. As Seuss explained in a memo to the film's producer, Stanley Kramer: "The kid, psychologically, is in a box. The dream mechanism takes these elements that are thwarting him and blows them up to gigantic proportions."

If this description foregrounds issues of child psychology, concerns central to the finished film, the early drafts of the script make frequent references to the struggle against fascism. In Bart's waking reality, Dr. T is "not especially frightening," a "tight lipped and methodical looking old gentleman ... no more vicious and harmful than Victor Moore." Once we enter Bart's dream, however, Seuss increasingly characterizes Dr. T as the reincarnation of Der Fuhrer. Seuss describes his kingdom as "plastered with posters, showing Dr. Terwilliger in a Hitler-like dictator's pose." His soldiers wear medals that "resemble an iron cross, only it is engraved with a likeness of Dr. Terwilliger in the center." The mother has a "devotion to the man...bordering on the fanatical," a "gauleiter-like allegiance" which blinds her to her son's agonies. When he is challenged, Dr. T "flies into a Hitlerian rage." He sees the "piano racket" as a scheme for global domination, and his study is decorated with an enormous world map captioned "The Terwilliger Empire of Tomorrow." He has built a massive piano, designed for the enslaved fingers of 500 little boys, upon which he will perform his musical compositions.

Many traces of this Hitler analogy find their way into the final film. The sets are hyperbolic versions of monumental Bauhaus architecture, and the grand procession borrows freely from Leni Rieftenstahl's Triumph of the Will, with his blue helmeted henchmen goose stepping and holding aloft giant versions of his "Happy Fingers" logo. Terwilliger's elaborate conductor's uniform, one reviewer noted, was "a combination of a circus band drum major, Carmen Miranda, and Herman Goering." Most of the Henchmen bear Germanic names. Hans Conried's long thin body and his floppy black hair closely resemble Seuss's PM caricatures of Hitler (minus the mustache). The fact that Conreid had provided some of the narration for Design for Death, performing the voices of the fascist leaders, could only have strengthened the association for contemporary viewers. Even the film's musical score bore strong Germanic associations; its composer, Eugene Hollander, had studied under Richard Strauss, done music for Max Reinhardt in Berlin before the war, and was the musical director for The Blue Angel.

Some of the film's more disturbing images drew on popular memories of the Nazi concentration camps. Arriving by yellow school buses, rather than railway cars, the unfortunate boys are herded through gates, where their comic books, balls, slingshots, and pet frogs are confiscated. Then, they are marched off to their "lock-me-tights" in the dungeon. There, Dr. T dreams up fiendish (and Dante_esque) tortures for all those who refuse to play his beloved keyboard. The captive musicians have sullen eyes and sunken cheeks, lean and gaunt in their prison uniforms.

In constructing the more sympathetic plumber, Zlabadowski, Seuss drew upon other associations with the war. In the first draft of the script, Zlabadowski is described in terms that strongly link him to Eastern Europe. "Shaking his head sadly in deep Slavic gloom," Zlabadowski is "a big shaggy edition of Molotov, a kindly Molotov with the cosmic unhappiness of Albert Einstein." As the script progresses, Zlabadowski abandons all of his Slavic associations, except for his rather distinctive name, becoming a more all-American type, a reluctant patriot who must first shed his isolationist impulses before he can be enlisted as Bart's ally in the struggle to stop Terwilliger. In one of his notes about the script, Seuss summarizes the character: "Z's conflict: Desire to help people. Desire to keep out of trouble. An old soldier trying to be a pacifist. He's tired of war. It's futile." In the early drafts, Zlabadowski knows Terwilliger's evil plans, but he doesn't want to get involved if it means losing his overtime pay for installing the sinks.

In the finished film, many of these adult concerns have vanished. Zlabadowski represents the ideal permissive parent Initially, he is a bit distracted by his work and eager to make a buck, a bit eager to dismiss Bart's warnings as wild eyed fantasies. Ultimately, he becomes a warm-hearted playmate (engaging the boy in a pretend fishing trip) and a wise counselor (helping him concoct from the contents of the boy's pockets a sound-stopping device). Angered by his initial indifference, Bart challenges his adult privileges and sings a song that might have been the anthem for permissive child rearing:

Just because we're kids, because we're sorta small, because we're closer to the ground, and you are bigger pound by pound, you have no right, you have no right to push and shove us little kids around.

Proclaiming children's rights, Bart denounces adult assumptions that deeper voices, facial hair, or wallets justify unreasonable exercises of power over children. Zlabadowski regains his idealism: "I don't like anybody who pushes anybody around." The two cut their fingers with Bart's pocketknife and take a blood oath that binds them together,father and son,in the struggle against Terwillikerism.

In the film's opening scene, Bart off-handedly remarks upon the death of his father, presumably during the war, and Zlabadowski and Terwilliker are cast as good and bad surrogate fathers, respectively. In his nightmare, his piano crazed mother is hypnotized into accepting Terwilliker's hand in marriage, a deal to be consummated immediately following the great concert. Not unlike Lord Droon in The King's Stilts, Terwilliker represents the pre-war Patriarch who demands obedience and silence from his children. In his fantasy, Bart hopes that the more permissive Zlabadowski will fall in love with his mother and become his father, an arrangement consummated by their blood oath. Zlabadowski understands the needs of boys; he represents the manly virtues of fishing and baseball against Dr. Terwilliker's effeminate high culture, defending America against Terwilliker's Germany.

In the end, the task of finding the right father and overcoming the bad patriarch falls squarely on Bart's shoulders. He alone will face down Terwilliker, using his "very atomic" sound-catching device to disrupt the concert and liberate the children. The closing moments, where rebellious children hurl their music sheets in the air, shouting in defiance, stomping on and punching the piano keys, represents one of the most vivid images of resistance in all of American cinema. By this point, Bart's struggle against Terwilliker has absorbed tremendous ideological weight, a struggle of the freedom fighting all American boy (with his red and white striped shirt and his blue pants) against an old world tyrant, the struggle of those who are "closer to the ground" against those who "shout" and "beat little kids about," the struggle of permissive parenting against more authoritarian alternatives.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Genesis of the retard genre

At what point did the average actor think that playing a person with disabilities was a sure fire hit and a career booster? 1968. That's when it all started. Cliff Robertson won the Academy Award for CHARLY. You know damn well it is said in every pitch meeting for the new "retard" movie "It'll be th next CHARLY. It'll bring tears to there eyes."
Tears of Laughter and/or Hatred.

After his Ocscar winning performance in CHARLY Robertson was one of the darlings of Hollywood. Until... he discovered that the studio was perpetrating a tax fraud on the government. Instead of remaining silent, he told everything and was blackballed by the community. Where once there were agents knocking on his door, now there were none and he did not work for quite some time. True to his Calvinist upbringing he maintained the truth at all costs, and after several years of turmoil he got his footing back.

Charly (also spelled ChaЯly) is a 1968 film which tells the story of a mentally retarded bakery worker, who becomes a subject of an experiment to increase his mental capacity. After he reaches genius level, he realizes that the treatment is temporary, and that he will soon revert to his previous mental ability. It stars Cliff Robertson, Claire Bloom, Lilia Skala, Leon Janney and Dick Van Patten.

The movie was adapted by Stirling Silliphant from the novel Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes. In turn, the novel was based on a short story of the same title, by the same author. The movie was directed by Ralph Nelson.

Cliff Robertson won the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role for his work in this movie.

Robertson had appeared in many television versions of screenplays that had gone on to be made into movies starring other actors (most notably Days of Wine and Roses, which had starred Jack Lemmon). When he starred in the The Two Worlds of Charly Gordon, a 1961 television adaptation of Flowers for Algernon, he bought the movie rights so that he would be certain to star in the film version as well.

There are thousands upon thousands of people who are differently abled, all can emote far better than any actor. just ask their caregivers.

Riding on the bus with my sister

Another trophy on the "retard" movie shelf is RIDING ON THE BUS WITH MY SISTER. Rosie O'Donnell pulls out all the stops for director Angelica Houston. Rosie "plays" Beth as a woman who is afflicted with a mild case of Joe Cocker hands and mac and cheese filled nostrils. Depth is added to the character as Rosie also includes foot stomping, turning single syllable words into multi-syllabic tunes and the ever popular silly syllable empahSIS.To top it off she adds her patented "twistyface" for that Emmy award winning "retard" look. What in the world would ever make ANYONE think a performance like this was even close to acceptable is beyond me.

I know I have posted this on the other site but lets take a look at how "retards" act.

Oh wait... here is the best of the worst:

Angelica Houston should have chose another vehicle to cut her TV directing teeth on. This was worse than when Diane Keaton directed the ABC after school special THE GIRL WITH THE CRAZY BROTHER. Thats a post in itself.


Bill, a retarded man, ventures out into the world for the first time. Having spent most of his life in a dreary inner city Institution. He is taken in by a kind family and learns what it means to love for the first time in his life.

Yet another actor taking a stab at being retarded. This time a crazy person is hired to play a mentally challenged man. His portrayal was awkward and insulting. This "drama" actually had a TV movie sequel entitled BILL ON HIS OWN.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Another "make fun of disabled people" movie

"Slapstick: of another kind" seems to have avoided DVD in the USA. While it may not be the worst film ever made it is certainly in the running. Here is a synopsis of the film. It reads far better than it is.

Basicly it is Madaline Kahn and Jerry Lewis doing "retard" jokes for 80 odd minutes.

The People's Republic of China is severing relations with all other nations. They have mastered the art of miniaturization, and have shrunk all their people to the height of 2 inches. The ambassador of China, Ah Fong (Pat Morita), announces during a press conference that they key to all knowledge can be found from twins.

Caleb Swain (Jerry Lewis) and his wife Letitia (Madeline Kahn) are called 'the most beautiful of all the beautiful people' by the press. However, when Letitia gives birth to twins who are called "monsters." The family doctor, Dr. Frankenstein (John Abbott) informs the parents that the twins won't live more than a few months. The Swain's decide to allow the twins to live their short life in a mansion staffed with servants, including Sylvester (Marty Feldman).

Fifteen years later the twins (also played by Lewis and Kahn) are "still alive." They have large heads and appear to be retarded. Their parents, who have not seen them in all those years, receive a visit from the former Chinese ambassador who inform them that their children are genuises who can solve the world's problems. They dont hold a candle to Chance the gardener!

The parents, along with the US president (Jim Backus) pay the children a visit. They reveal themselves to be well-behaved and intelligent, explaining that they acted "stupid" around the servants because they were simply emulating them.

A series of tests reveal that there is a telepathic connection between the twins, and their intelligence is only functionable when they are together. Furthermore, when their heads are touching they reach a level of intelligence that has never been surpassed.

Their parents, fearful that incest may be prevalent, separate the two. They become despondant without each other, and the Chinese ambassador appears again to tell them to seek each other out. Once united, a spaceship appears and reveals that they are really aliens who were sent to Earth to solve all of the planet's problems. However, their alien father (voice of Orson Welles) reveals that Earth cannot handle their intelligence and returns them to their home planet. Whoa. Now imagine that film but not funny. It plays much better as a horror film.

I am now going to hypnotize you.

As your mouse meanders about this page you'll have an overwhelming urge to click the following link that takes you to


Ya still here? Will the promise of more pictures like these make you go?

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sunday, January 21, 2007

The ultimate germ warfare in the making

Cordyceps is a genus of ascomycete fungi, the most famous of which is the species that parasitizes the vegetable caterpillar — Cordyceps sinensis that has long been considered a precious ingredient in Chinese traditional medicines. All Cordyceps species are parasitic, mainly on insects and other arthropods (they are thus entomopathogenic fungi); a few are parasitic on other fungi like the subterranean, truffle-like Elaphomyces. The mycelium invades and eventually replaces the host tissue, while the elongated fruiting body (stroma) may be cylindrical, branched, or of very complex shape. The stroma contains many flask-shaped perithecia (sing. perithecium): hollow, flask-shaped structures usually embedded in the stromatic tissue that contain many long, cilindric asci. These in turn contain the filiform (thread-like) ascospores, which easily break into fragments and presumably constitute an infective stage.

The genus has a worldwide distribution and more than 300 species are currently known — most have been described from Asia (notably China, Japan, Korea and Thailand). The genus has many anamorphs (asexual states), of which Beauveria (possibly including Beauveria bassiana), Metarhizium, and Paecilomyces (section Isaria) are the better known, since these have been used in biological control of insect pests. Cordyceps species are particularly abundant and diverse in humid temperate and tropical forests.

Each fungus has its own target. EACH FUNGUS HAS ITS OWN TARGET!
Why only insects?

Its just a matter of time.

Forgotten Sections of Fingers.

"The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T" first graced movie screens in 1953. Though not much of a commercial success, it did at least garner one Academy Award nomination that year for Best Musical Score which it lost to "Call Me Madam." (And does that film have a cult following? I think not) The rest of the film's cast and crew went on to have illustrious careers beyond the children's film genre. The lead co-stars, Peter Lind Hayes (Mr. Zabladowski) and Mary Healy (Mrs. Collins), already Broadway stars, continued to develop their film careers together; Hans Conreid (Dr. T) and Tommy Rettig (Bart) found great success on TV (remember him from "Lassie"?) and the big screen; though production designer Rudolph Sternad's breathtaking work in "5,000 Fingers" was overlooked by the Academy, he went on to enjoy a total of three nominations for later films. And of course we all know about the illustrious career of the film's screenwriter and lyricist, Dr. Seuss.

The Hollywood studio execs knew that this film was something special and had not gotten the reception is deserved. "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T" - indeed an "all new kind of wonder-musical" as its tagline avers - was almost too new for 1953. Thus, the film was re-released some years later under the apt but trite title "Crazy Music." However, it wasn't until those hazy, crazy days of the sixties that a new fan base raised their droopy lids and chuckled appreciatively. The stream-of-consciousness story-line, Dali-esque sets and bizarre musical numbers eventually found a small but avid cult following that appreciated the hallucinatory and psychedelic style of filmmaking.

The unique weltanschuung (hey I found a new word!) of this film is especially impressive when one considers that it was created as an Eisenhower-era children's musical. By presenting the film as an extended child's fantasy "5,000 Fingers" goes well beyond the boundaries of juvenile cinema established by Disney Studios; even "Fantasia" can't hold a candle to this extravaganza. From the brutally funny "Dungeon Song" to the charming ode to cross dressing, "Do-Me-Do Duds," Dr. Seuss's story pushes the envelope of conventional musical material.
The films copyright was renewed in 1980 so someone at (what was) Columbia Studios was on the right track. A DVD was released in the United States in 2001. The DVD is far from overwhelming. No restoration was done. The image is plagued with film anomolies and misstimes. Above all There is nothing really in the way of bonus features that are releated to the film. There were several songs trimmed from the film and a completly different opening that has been lost. If SONY decides to strap on a sack and remaster this DVD correctly I hope to god they search that damn vault and produce those cut scenes. If that isn't possible then Sony should add the songs onto the DVD as bonus audio tracks. It is clear that there is an isolated music and effects track for this feature since there is a French and Latin American Spanish translation on the DVD. The official vinyl soundtrack is hard to find yet has all the songs that were recorded for this feature including the ones deleted from the final release of the picture. The soundtrack also has the full length version of the overture and opening number of the film. The track is much longer than the actual opening of the film and the music is not used elsewhere. Where are these scenes? Clearly they scored them. That leads me to believe there was an alternate cut of this film. Where is a restored version of this film? DELETED SCENES? A DAMN TRAILER? ANYTHING? I hope SONY does not put this on the REMAKE list but instead gives the original the attention it deserves.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

What ever happened to George Michael Bluth?

Duke it out.

Dukes of Hazzard I swear was softcore Gay porn.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Bonus Dynamite feature

Dynamite magazine from time to time contained flexipop-type records.
This lil gem is the Count Morbida's chamber of horrors.Click here

Dynamite Magazine

Yep. Every kid in the early 80's read it yet no one seems to have a copy.