Monday, April 23, 2007

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir


Here is an alphabetical list of all the things the Captain has called Claymore Gregg.
aromatic fishmonger
barnacle (four times)
benighted barnacle
blasted barnacle
blasted ninny
blasted sea slug
blasted pipsqueak
blasted bonehead
blockhead
blubberbrain
buffoon (three times)
chuckle-headed booby
clod (three times)
clumsy nit
clumsy dolt
conniving cipher
corrupt cockleshell
cowardly codfish
devout coward
dolt
dreadful nuisance
dunce (twice)
dunderhead
Ebenezer Scrooge
failure at living
fiddlebrain
flotsam-faced fake
fool (twice)
fortunate clod
Gregg pretender
gull-bellied, snip-headed busy-body
ill wind
insignificant petty conniver
jellyfish
larcenous sea slug
leech
lilyliver (twice)
lout, as welcome as an outbreak of scurvy
lummox
malingering bilge-blister
mere pygmy
miserable barnacle
miserable sheep in wolf's clothing
miserable wart
miserable skinflint
miserly squid
money-gouging grub
money-gouging sand shark
nincompoop
ninny who can be frightened by an angry termite
ninny (twice)
nit (twice)
numbskull (twice)
oaf (four times)
one of a bumbling brigade
one of a pitiful pair
one of a misbegotten pair
one with a crafty, craven, cringing hide
penurious penny-pinching lease-breaker
pilfering pickpocket
pilfering pipsqueak
pilfering pirate
pinheaded pyromaniac
pitiful sight with weak chin and watery eyes
poor imitation with watery blood and weak flesh
puny pelican
quaking jellyfish
quivering squid
quivering bowl of blamange
quivering squid with a jellied backbone
quivering mass of jelly
rodent
scoundrel with a nickel-nursing heart
scurvy swab
second-rate scoundrel
simpering dolt
simpleton (twice)
skinflint
snivelling misfit
spineless toad
splay-footed marshmallow
sponge-spined jellyfish
stingy, money-grubbing, penny-pinching...
stupid
swab
the one thing abhorred more than marriage
the lesser of two evils
treacherous conniver
two-legged worm
underhanded oaf
whimpering, mewling, brittle-boned pest
worthless nothing
wretch

3 comments:

Unknown said...

used to be my favorite show...been so long, i'd forgotten how fantastic! thanks for the reminder.

Gavin Elster said...

I liked it too. It's the show that taught me to hate charles nelson rielly. Match-game just drove the point home.

Gavin Elster said...

perhaps i'll find a ghost to marry one day.