Showing posts with label crazy train left the station. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy train left the station. Show all posts
Friday, December 21, 2007
Oh damnit! A day late I find this video
He he heee jacuzzi!
For those of you who are wondering who Stuart Krasnow is... He was Executive Producer of the mercifully brief talk show THE MARTIN SHORT SHOW and Average Joe: Hawaii.
Stevens Spreafico's madness is underplayed in this video.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Conclusion
I've done a line by line analysis of his video.
Here is the transcript and my notes:
Stubborn man is a song that I wrote
(The emphasis is on his achievement of writing a song and not the song itself.)
and its about (Sigh) the men in my life. They’re so stubborn.
(Stubborn is Steven’s word for disinterested. The men in this video are nameless numbered strangers who don’t connect to Steven on some fantastic unspoken mystical plain. Or is it that they find him repulsive?)
(On balcony of his house)
I be damned if I am going to sit here in MY house alone
(Again Steven stresses his achievement. This time the achievement is of owning a home. Something that would be an easy feat for any realtor. As for being alone it seems that he is contradicting himself as he just described this song as being about all the stubborn men in his life yet… he is alone. That could only mean that the stubborn man is him and no one else.)
when I can go down to the gay bar and I’m gonna find myself a man
(This is the troubling part of Steven. His deluded belief in his abilities leads him to believe he can pluck a relationship from the bar like you pick fruit off a tree. He has no desire to have any type of emotional contact with his prey. He just wants to “Go get one.” He dehumanizes these men. To Steven, men are objects to use… like toilet paper.)
and when I walk into the bar I see three men like, staring at me.
(By simply looking his way Steven believes they are staring at him. If any eye contact is made that constitutes “Staring.” In reality, in a bar-type atmosphere they are judging him.)
Number one is wiggling his Levi jeans.
(This is Stevens fantasy world. This line tells a little more about Steven. His ideal cowboy is not a cowboy at all. A real cowboy would not be caught dead in Levis but that is not the odd part about this line. The unusual part is that numbered nameless faceless object/person is wiggling his Levi jeans. Steven shows little interest about the person inside the jeans aside that the person is a male but mentions the clothes a wiggling magically on there own. What’s inside the clothes is less important. Any normally adjusted gay man would mention the ass in those jeans. Since he has no interest in the ass inside those jeans this leads me to believe our Realtor, Steven, is a bottom.)
Number two has big hands, (chuckle) If you know what I mean
(No average to well endowed gay man would make this kind of reference. This reinforces the “Bottom” aspect of Steven as well as the hunch he is unhappy with the size of his penis.)
and number three has the most piercing bright smile and (sigh) eyes staring at me.
(He means “Not White”. Take that mom and dad!)
Its about promoting safe sex and how I put on a saddle and took him for a ride I really think its important for men all across the world to always practice safe sex.
(Since the song mentions nothing about safe sex this statement is totally false. I would have to say that Stevens is false about the entire concept of safe sex. I’ll not dwell on that. It depresses me.)
Number one and two are guys that kinda like the energy didn’t connect and that’s another stubborn man hanging on my wall.
(Steven again confuses disinterested with stubborn. Perhaps this is a sign of a mediocre realtor? If someone shows disinterest in a house does it mean they don’t want the house? It’s the Realtors job to convince them this is the right house for them even if it isn’t. Those are stubborn clients to Steven. Not disinterested but stubborn. Steven shows his creepy predatory side by keeping tabs on those disinterested men. The “hanging on my wall” is a little too creepy even with the visual of Steven sticking up a picture of a disinterested man to a fake wall.)
Just such a wonderful, fun dance song.
(There is nothing wonderful about this song. It is not a dance song. In fact it is almost impossible to dance to. This would be Steven trying to pass off yet another failure as a success. )
(Music Video Begins)
Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wait around here all day.
(Wait? Wait for what? Sex to come to him? Steven exposes more of his predatory nature by waiting at home for sex. I’ll bet that Steven has an Adam for Adam or Manhunt account with a name like WehoCowboy.)
I’m young and free I’m a wild coyote
(Steven misrepresents himself here as young but he is actually in his early 40’s. As young can be relative yes he is young if you are 70 or 80. As for being a Coyote? That statement is the most honest he will ever get. Coyote’s are scavengers of the night. Prowling the city for scraps)
so get the hell outta my way
(This displays his need to show superiority over others. His need to satisfy his sexual urge with a faceless nameless stranger is overpowering and nothing or anybody will stop him.)
So I’m gonna go down to “the bar” tonight
And I’ll have a line of cowboys smiling at me.
(Stevens seems to think that everyone in a bar is there for him. In his mind everyone is on this planet to serve him. We all are here for Steven. Each and every one of us is on his buffet menu.)
Number one is shaking his Levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, you know what I mean
Number three has a big smile and piercing bright eyes smiling at me.
(Bright eyes smiling. Stevens attempt at being a songwriter fails miserably at this point.)
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
(Again with the wiggling empty clothes.)
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
( Like a spider he spins his web. In Stevens mind the prey is helpless to Stevens advances)
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
(I can’t possibly image whats going thru his mind. He seems to have infatalized his predatory sex game.)
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
(Steven’s attempt at clever metaphor with the Ride the horse line. The amazing thing is the Chorus ends with his exclamation of Stubborn man. Its as if he gets what he wants and then has to insult his victim by calling him names.)
Well, Elvis, Rudolph Valentino and Madonna are like Me.
(Steven believes he is famous. His statement here is so random yet so necessary. He needs you to understand that he is important. His parents factor into this need to shout out I Am Somebody. It is clear that his republican parents disapprove of his lifestyle and Steven needs to show them he is not a failier. Even if that means making a statement like this with no basis in reality.)
My story is really like Winona Judd and her mom
‘cause my father and I butt heads but we still love to sing.
(Strangely absent from this picture is his actual mom. I suspect his mom is a successful realtor and the spotlight would be taken away from little Stevie if she were in the picture. Even a failed relationship is worth mentioning here as Steven points out that the relationship with his father is rocky. The only thing he has in common with his dad is the love of song? How sad.)
Well I picked up my man and went outside.
Put on the saddle and took him for a ride.
(A strange turn in the song as he just mentions the bad relationship with his father in one breath then in the next tells us about his sexual encounter with a strange man. Note that Steven Spreafico now owns this man as he refers to him as “MY MAN” He also did not take the nameless faceless sex object home to have sex but simply “outside”. It was “outside” not just in HIS house in the hills just above the bar. He needed to have sex “somewhere else.” This simple line seems to stem from an actual event. My guess is he did take the guy to his house and they had sex in the hot tub. You know Steven has to have a hot tub. It is a predator tool. Steven’s need further dehumanize his victim has reached a peak as he now seems to treat the man as a farm animal. That is even more disturbing as Steven comes from a farm and a short line can be drawn from sex with this nameless man to sex with a farm animal. Steven seems to be telling more about his past than I care to know.)
Wouldnja know the next day he didn’t call.
(For a normal person this would not come as a surprise as this was a one night stand Bar pickup)
Nahh ahhh
Another stubborn man hanging on my wall
(He places a picture of trick on wall next to a picture of Steven himself, with the caption “the simple life” below it. Another disinterested nameless man in a long line of nameless men. This shot of him placing a zed card shot onto a fake wall reminds me of Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the film Happiness. If you haven’t seen it go rent that film and be even more disgusted at this shot. )
Well I’m gonna go back and find “Number Two”
(I’m going out on a limb here by not making the obvious Scatological reference. Steven doesn't care who he is with. It is the conquest of getting anyone that is his thrill.)
I’m gonna “rope” the cutest one.
( I’m pretty sure he misspelled a word there)
Wait who’s there looking at me?
Sending his energy. It’s number three.
(Stevens mythical West Hollywood men have unique telepathic abilities. Aqua-man powers if you will. What a surprise the barfly returned to the bar. What a catch Steven!)
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Number three
I hope this one is here to stay
(still no name and no indication he’ll do anything to keep this trick around. Aside from sex there is no other reason for his man to stay. His lonely desperate cry for this man to stay is just a reflection on his own family life and how they never paid him any attention.)
(distorted little voice) I hope this one is here to stay.
You know it aint easy out there being gay
(Out where? Outside of his mystical fantasy world. That’s where. Steven is so out of touch with the real world yet seems to be aware of that fact on some level.)
Or happy happy
(His attempt at a humorous lyric.)
Those cowboys want to dial me up
Have their fun they don’t know
I’m the one In control.
(distorted voice)Pulling the reigns
(Oh and now the truth comes out. The curtain is pulled back to reveal the power hungry little monster within. Since he was only with one cowboy in this song this section is part fantasy but the other is pure ugly unadulterated truth. In Steven’s mind Steven is the one in control. The entire world is his to manipulate. You, me, your parents, your friends, the grocer the shop-clerk all are here for Steven. If they don’t perform to his satisfaction they will pay.)
So just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
End Report.
Here is the transcript and my notes:
Stubborn man is a song that I wrote
(The emphasis is on his achievement of writing a song and not the song itself.)
and its about (Sigh) the men in my life. They’re so stubborn.
(Stubborn is Steven’s word for disinterested. The men in this video are nameless numbered strangers who don’t connect to Steven on some fantastic unspoken mystical plain. Or is it that they find him repulsive?)
(On balcony of his house)
I be damned if I am going to sit here in MY house alone
(Again Steven stresses his achievement. This time the achievement is of owning a home. Something that would be an easy feat for any realtor. As for being alone it seems that he is contradicting himself as he just described this song as being about all the stubborn men in his life yet… he is alone. That could only mean that the stubborn man is him and no one else.)
when I can go down to the gay bar and I’m gonna find myself a man
(This is the troubling part of Steven. His deluded belief in his abilities leads him to believe he can pluck a relationship from the bar like you pick fruit off a tree. He has no desire to have any type of emotional contact with his prey. He just wants to “Go get one.” He dehumanizes these men. To Steven, men are objects to use… like toilet paper.)
and when I walk into the bar I see three men like, staring at me.
(By simply looking his way Steven believes they are staring at him. If any eye contact is made that constitutes “Staring.” In reality, in a bar-type atmosphere they are judging him.)
Number one is wiggling his Levi jeans.
(This is Stevens fantasy world. This line tells a little more about Steven. His ideal cowboy is not a cowboy at all. A real cowboy would not be caught dead in Levis but that is not the odd part about this line. The unusual part is that numbered nameless faceless object/person is wiggling his Levi jeans. Steven shows little interest about the person inside the jeans aside that the person is a male but mentions the clothes a wiggling magically on there own. What’s inside the clothes is less important. Any normally adjusted gay man would mention the ass in those jeans. Since he has no interest in the ass inside those jeans this leads me to believe our Realtor, Steven, is a bottom.)
Number two has big hands, (chuckle) If you know what I mean
(No average to well endowed gay man would make this kind of reference. This reinforces the “Bottom” aspect of Steven as well as the hunch he is unhappy with the size of his penis.)
and number three has the most piercing bright smile and (sigh) eyes staring at me.
(He means “Not White”. Take that mom and dad!)
Its about promoting safe sex and how I put on a saddle and took him for a ride I really think its important for men all across the world to always practice safe sex.
(Since the song mentions nothing about safe sex this statement is totally false. I would have to say that Stevens is false about the entire concept of safe sex. I’ll not dwell on that. It depresses me.)
Number one and two are guys that kinda like the energy didn’t connect and that’s another stubborn man hanging on my wall.
(Steven again confuses disinterested with stubborn. Perhaps this is a sign of a mediocre realtor? If someone shows disinterest in a house does it mean they don’t want the house? It’s the Realtors job to convince them this is the right house for them even if it isn’t. Those are stubborn clients to Steven. Not disinterested but stubborn. Steven shows his creepy predatory side by keeping tabs on those disinterested men. The “hanging on my wall” is a little too creepy even with the visual of Steven sticking up a picture of a disinterested man to a fake wall.)
Just such a wonderful, fun dance song.
(There is nothing wonderful about this song. It is not a dance song. In fact it is almost impossible to dance to. This would be Steven trying to pass off yet another failure as a success. )
(Music Video Begins)
Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wait around here all day.
(Wait? Wait for what? Sex to come to him? Steven exposes more of his predatory nature by waiting at home for sex. I’ll bet that Steven has an Adam for Adam or Manhunt account with a name like WehoCowboy.)
I’m young and free I’m a wild coyote
(Steven misrepresents himself here as young but he is actually in his early 40’s. As young can be relative yes he is young if you are 70 or 80. As for being a Coyote? That statement is the most honest he will ever get. Coyote’s are scavengers of the night. Prowling the city for scraps)
so get the hell outta my way
(This displays his need to show superiority over others. His need to satisfy his sexual urge with a faceless nameless stranger is overpowering and nothing or anybody will stop him.)
So I’m gonna go down to “the bar” tonight
And I’ll have a line of cowboys smiling at me.
(Stevens seems to think that everyone in a bar is there for him. In his mind everyone is on this planet to serve him. We all are here for Steven. Each and every one of us is on his buffet menu.)
Number one is shaking his Levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, you know what I mean
Number three has a big smile and piercing bright eyes smiling at me.
(Bright eyes smiling. Stevens attempt at being a songwriter fails miserably at this point.)
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
(Again with the wiggling empty clothes.)
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
( Like a spider he spins his web. In Stevens mind the prey is helpless to Stevens advances)
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
(I can’t possibly image whats going thru his mind. He seems to have infatalized his predatory sex game.)
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
(Steven’s attempt at clever metaphor with the Ride the horse line. The amazing thing is the Chorus ends with his exclamation of Stubborn man. Its as if he gets what he wants and then has to insult his victim by calling him names.)
Well, Elvis, Rudolph Valentino and Madonna are like Me.
(Steven believes he is famous. His statement here is so random yet so necessary. He needs you to understand that he is important. His parents factor into this need to shout out I Am Somebody. It is clear that his republican parents disapprove of his lifestyle and Steven needs to show them he is not a failier. Even if that means making a statement like this with no basis in reality.)
My story is really like Winona Judd and her mom
‘cause my father and I butt heads but we still love to sing.
(Strangely absent from this picture is his actual mom. I suspect his mom is a successful realtor and the spotlight would be taken away from little Stevie if she were in the picture. Even a failed relationship is worth mentioning here as Steven points out that the relationship with his father is rocky. The only thing he has in common with his dad is the love of song? How sad.)
Well I picked up my man and went outside.
Put on the saddle and took him for a ride.
(A strange turn in the song as he just mentions the bad relationship with his father in one breath then in the next tells us about his sexual encounter with a strange man. Note that Steven Spreafico now owns this man as he refers to him as “MY MAN” He also did not take the nameless faceless sex object home to have sex but simply “outside”. It was “outside” not just in HIS house in the hills just above the bar. He needed to have sex “somewhere else.” This simple line seems to stem from an actual event. My guess is he did take the guy to his house and they had sex in the hot tub. You know Steven has to have a hot tub. It is a predator tool. Steven’s need further dehumanize his victim has reached a peak as he now seems to treat the man as a farm animal. That is even more disturbing as Steven comes from a farm and a short line can be drawn from sex with this nameless man to sex with a farm animal. Steven seems to be telling more about his past than I care to know.)
Wouldnja know the next day he didn’t call.
(For a normal person this would not come as a surprise as this was a one night stand Bar pickup)
Nahh ahhh
Another stubborn man hanging on my wall
(He places a picture of trick on wall next to a picture of Steven himself, with the caption “the simple life” below it. Another disinterested nameless man in a long line of nameless men. This shot of him placing a zed card shot onto a fake wall reminds me of Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the film Happiness. If you haven’t seen it go rent that film and be even more disgusted at this shot. )
Well I’m gonna go back and find “Number Two”
(I’m going out on a limb here by not making the obvious Scatological reference. Steven doesn't care who he is with. It is the conquest of getting anyone that is his thrill.)
I’m gonna “rope” the cutest one.
( I’m pretty sure he misspelled a word there)
Wait who’s there looking at me?
Sending his energy. It’s number three.
(Stevens mythical West Hollywood men have unique telepathic abilities. Aqua-man powers if you will. What a surprise the barfly returned to the bar. What a catch Steven!)
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Number three
I hope this one is here to stay
(still no name and no indication he’ll do anything to keep this trick around. Aside from sex there is no other reason for his man to stay. His lonely desperate cry for this man to stay is just a reflection on his own family life and how they never paid him any attention.)
(distorted little voice) I hope this one is here to stay.
You know it aint easy out there being gay
(Out where? Outside of his mystical fantasy world. That’s where. Steven is so out of touch with the real world yet seems to be aware of that fact on some level.)
Or happy happy
(His attempt at a humorous lyric.)
Those cowboys want to dial me up
Have their fun they don’t know
I’m the one In control.
(distorted voice)Pulling the reigns
(Oh and now the truth comes out. The curtain is pulled back to reveal the power hungry little monster within. Since he was only with one cowboy in this song this section is part fantasy but the other is pure ugly unadulterated truth. In Steven’s mind Steven is the one in control. The entire world is his to manipulate. You, me, your parents, your friends, the grocer the shop-clerk all are here for Steven. If they don’t perform to his satisfaction they will pay.)
So just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
End Report.
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Part Five
Are the following words those of a happy harmless realtor or are these words more suited to someone who is an unstable predatory serial rapist?
You decide. Please examine each lyric carefully. I've also transcribed the introduction to the "Video" as it provides some insight into the mind of Steven Speafico.
Please let me know if you truly think this guy is harmless.
(Transcript begins)
Stubborn man is a song that I wrote and its about (Sigh) the men in my life. They’re so stubborn.
(On balcony of his house)
I be damned if I am going to sit here in my house alone when I can go down to the gay bar and I’m gonna find myself a man and when I walk into the bar I see three men like, staring at me.
Number one is wiggling his levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, (chuckle) If you know what I mean and number three has the most piercing bright smile and (confused pause) eyes staring at me.
Its about promoting safe sex and how I put on a saddle and took him for a ride I really think its important for men all across the world to always practice safe sex.
Number one and two are guys that kinda like the energy didn’t connect and that’s another stubborn man hanging on my wall.
Just such a wonderful, fun dance song.
(Music Video Begins)
Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wait around here all day.
I’m young and free I’m a wild coyote so get the hell outta my way
So I’m gonna go down to “the bar” tonight
And I’ll have a line of cowboys smiling at me.
Number one is shaking his levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, you know what I mean
Number three has a big smile and piercing bright eyes smiling at me.
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Well, Elvis, Rudolph Valentino and Madonna are like Me.
My story is really like Winona Judd and her mom
‘cause my father and I butt heads but we still love to sing.
Well I picked up my man and went outside.
Put on the saddle and took him for a ride.
Wouldnja know the next day he didn’t call.
Nahh ahhh
Another stubborn man hanging on my wall
(places a picture of trick on wall next to a picture of himself with the caption “the simple life” below it.)
Well I’m gonna go back and find “Number Two”
I’m gonna “rope” the cutest one.
Wait who’s there looking at me?
Sending his energy. It’s number three.
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Number three
I hope this one is here to stay
(distorted little voice) I hope this one is here to stay.
You know it aint easy out there being gay
Or happy happy
Those cowboys want to dial me up
Have their fun they don’t know
I’m the one In control.
(distorted voice)Pulling the reigns
So just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
(Winks to camera)
(fade out)
(fade in)
(cut to black)
Tomorrow...
The conclusion of CRAZYTRAIN:Destination Stevenwood
You decide. Please examine each lyric carefully. I've also transcribed the introduction to the "Video" as it provides some insight into the mind of Steven Speafico.
Please let me know if you truly think this guy is harmless.
(Transcript begins)
Stubborn man is a song that I wrote and its about (Sigh) the men in my life. They’re so stubborn.
(On balcony of his house)
I be damned if I am going to sit here in my house alone when I can go down to the gay bar and I’m gonna find myself a man and when I walk into the bar I see three men like, staring at me.
Number one is wiggling his levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, (chuckle) If you know what I mean and number three has the most piercing bright smile and (confused pause) eyes staring at me.
Its about promoting safe sex and how I put on a saddle and took him for a ride I really think its important for men all across the world to always practice safe sex.
Number one and two are guys that kinda like the energy didn’t connect and that’s another stubborn man hanging on my wall.
Just such a wonderful, fun dance song.
(Music Video Begins)
Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wait around here all day.
I’m young and free I’m a wild coyote so get the hell outta my way
So I’m gonna go down to “the bar” tonight
And I’ll have a line of cowboys smiling at me.
Number one is shaking his levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, you know what I mean
Number three has a big smile and piercing bright eyes smiling at me.
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Well, Elvis, Rudolph Valentino and Madonna are like Me.
My story is really like Winona Judd and her mom
‘cause my father and I butt heads but we still love to sing.
Well I picked up my man and went outside.
Put on the saddle and took him for a ride.
Wouldnja know the next day he didn’t call.
Nahh ahhh
Another stubborn man hanging on my wall
(places a picture of trick on wall next to a picture of himself with the caption “the simple life” below it.)
Well I’m gonna go back and find “Number Two”
I’m gonna “rope” the cutest one.
Wait who’s there looking at me?
Sending his energy. It’s number three.
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Number three
I hope this one is here to stay
(distorted little voice) I hope this one is here to stay.
You know it aint easy out there being gay
Or happy happy
Those cowboys want to dial me up
Have their fun they don’t know
I’m the one In control.
(distorted voice)Pulling the reigns
So just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those levis left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man
(Winks to camera)
(fade out)
(fade in)
(cut to black)
Tomorrow...
The conclusion of CRAZYTRAIN:Destination Stevenwood
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Part four
Update.
Fuck Spartacus. All I did wanted to do was ask him some questions and what did I get? Tazed. Now I have permanent nerve damage and an inability to control my bowels.
After 13 straight hours of trying to contact Mike Douglas all I got was a major cramp in my hand and this e-mailed picture.
Clearly I was going about this all wrong. Mike Douglas is not dead. He is undead. That is why the Ojai board didn't work. As we all know undead people tend to be a little confused. He is now asking me about Steven Spreafico. I wanted to ask him about this Steven guy. Zombies are idiots.
Fuck Spartacus. All I did wanted to do was ask him some questions and what did I get? Tazed. Now I have permanent nerve damage and an inability to control my bowels.
After 13 straight hours of trying to contact Mike Douglas all I got was a major cramp in my hand and this e-mailed picture.
Clearly I was going about this all wrong. Mike Douglas is not dead. He is undead. That is why the Ojai board didn't work. As we all know undead people tend to be a little confused. He is now asking me about Steven Spreafico. I wanted to ask him about this Steven guy. Zombies are idiots.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Part Three
7:20 am:
Today we will attempt to be in contact with the most powerful Douglas of all.
The mighty mighty MIKE DOUGLAS.
Since Mike has shuffled off this mortal coil it could be a little difficult to get his opinion on the talents of Steven Spreafico but I’m pretty almost sort of confident we can get through to him.
9:45am:
Using all my psychic powers I am currently in the process of attempting to locate my Ouija Board. I was going to ask the spirit of Mike Douglas to help me find the board but …
630pm:
Ok.
7:40pm:
Ive given up on ever finding the Ouija Board. I did have some luck.
I found a map of Ojai.
Close enough.
7:45pm
With my trusty sharpie and a shot-glass for a pointer, I now have my conduit to the netherworld.
8:00pm
Nothing.
9:00pm-11:00pm
Nothing
To be continued…
Today we will attempt to be in contact with the most powerful Douglas of all.
The mighty mighty MIKE DOUGLAS.
Since Mike has shuffled off this mortal coil it could be a little difficult to get his opinion on the talents of Steven Spreafico but I’m pretty almost sort of confident we can get through to him.
9:45am:
Using all my psychic powers I am currently in the process of attempting to locate my Ouija Board. I was going to ask the spirit of Mike Douglas to help me find the board but …
630pm:
Ok.
7:40pm:
Ive given up on ever finding the Ouija Board. I did have some luck.
I found a map of Ojai.
Close enough.
7:45pm
With my trusty sharpie and a shot-glass for a pointer, I now have my conduit to the netherworld.
8:00pm
Nothing.
9:00pm-11:00pm
Nothing
To be continued…
Monday, December 17, 2007
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Part Two
Please excuse this post as it is coming from my iPhone. I don’t have computer access right at this very moment.
Since FBI profiler John Douglas is busy I thought I'd track down another famous Douglas to chat about Steven Spreafico's amazing lack of talent.
So I took a quick trip into Beverly Hills today to see if I could sit down and have a chat with Kirk Douglas’ agent. I’d like to get Spartacus’s opinion on Steven Spreafico’s videos.
Meeting people in person is more…personable don’t you think?
So into the bowels of William Morris I went. The first stop was this waxy-faced eyebrow plucker at the front desk. I was trying to explain my project to the receptionist while she was looking up if Kirk Douglas was even represented by them and the craziest thing happened. Some nutbag was in the front lobby causing a scene. Or at least that’s what I heard on the security guys radio. The one swiftly moving my way. I spun around to see if I could get a look at the crazy person The only other person in the lobby was a guy that looked like Rob Schneider but short. Really Short. Like dwarf sized so it couldn’t have been him. He was muttering something about the film Chuck & Larry. Every second word out of his mouth was Fuck. But not like a mad FUCK. It was more of a desperation fuck. Like when you cause a car accident. The next thing I know I feel a sting in my chest and I could hear clicking and what inexplicably sounded like a really long fart.
I came to with this as my view. (thanks iPhone!) I was in the back of a police car.
I had been tazered.
I guess since 9/11 people are still jumpy when it comes to strangers.
Steven's talent is something real special. So special in fact he should join forces with the most popular special band in the world, The Kids of Widney High!
Here is their video for their smash hit NEW CAR!
Oh gotta go. My bail was just posted.
Well tomorrow I will try and contact the most powerful Douglas of all and We’ll finally get to the bottom of this Steven Spreafico freak.
Since FBI profiler John Douglas is busy I thought I'd track down another famous Douglas to chat about Steven Spreafico's amazing lack of talent.
So I took a quick trip into Beverly Hills today to see if I could sit down and have a chat with Kirk Douglas’ agent. I’d like to get Spartacus’s opinion on Steven Spreafico’s videos.
Meeting people in person is more…personable don’t you think?
So into the bowels of William Morris I went. The first stop was this waxy-faced eyebrow plucker at the front desk. I was trying to explain my project to the receptionist while she was looking up if Kirk Douglas was even represented by them and the craziest thing happened. Some nutbag was in the front lobby causing a scene. Or at least that’s what I heard on the security guys radio. The one swiftly moving my way. I spun around to see if I could get a look at the crazy person The only other person in the lobby was a guy that looked like Rob Schneider but short. Really Short. Like dwarf sized so it couldn’t have been him. He was muttering something about the film Chuck & Larry. Every second word out of his mouth was Fuck. But not like a mad FUCK. It was more of a desperation fuck. Like when you cause a car accident. The next thing I know I feel a sting in my chest and I could hear clicking and what inexplicably sounded like a really long fart.
I came to with this as my view. (thanks iPhone!) I was in the back of a police car.
I had been tazered.
I guess since 9/11 people are still jumpy when it comes to strangers.
Steven's talent is something real special. So special in fact he should join forces with the most popular special band in the world, The Kids of Widney High!
Here is their video for their smash hit NEW CAR!
Oh gotta go. My bail was just posted.
Well tomorrow I will try and contact the most powerful Douglas of all and We’ll finally get to the bottom of this Steven Spreafico freak.
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Part One
The chore of ripping apart Steven Spreafico’s life is off to a slow start. I started this week by checking in with John Douglas . The call went better than I expected. I told him about Steven and his videos and asked if he would care to make fun of this guy on my blog. Mr. Douglas is unfortunately unable to comment on Stevens psyche at this time but Mr. Douglas stated very firmly that He will be a guest on this blog in the future. He is just waiting for a severe weather change in a particular location before he makes his appearance here.
So… what to do? What to do?
I know!
Tomorrow we will check in with another Douglas and see If we can get him to profile Steven Spreafico.
In the mean time enjoy this interview with Steven on NPR.
Stay tuned.
So… what to do? What to do?
I know!
Tomorrow we will check in with another Douglas and see If we can get him to profile Steven Spreafico.
In the mean time enjoy this interview with Steven on NPR.
Stay tuned.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Just how bad is Steven Spreafico's voice?
While proudly showing my new object of disgust this weekend I got to thinkin' : "Just how bad is Steven's singing voice?"
The vocal on this video shows Steven's lame attempt at vocal processing.
Some people.... I don't know who they are, But some people I'm sure could say his singing is "Not Bad."
God knows you can't call it good but it doesn't cause internal bleeding so thats NOT BAD.
Just to prove how bad Stevens voice is (LIKE I HAVE TO DO THAT!) Here is a demo of an Auto-Tune system. This is a vocal processing system that can turn shit into highly processed shinola.
Now this guy is doing a demo in response to an artist called TPain but the point is well made.
It is clear this guy cant sing and his processed version isn't half bad. How bad do you have to be for the processed vocal to sound bad?
After hearing that go back and experience the pain that is Blue Eyed "Hollywood" cow"Boy" and note how much that sack o' craps voice is processed.
I know ya'll heard it the first time but I have a sneaking suspicion I am posting this so Steven knows we are on to his obvious vocal suckatude. He seems like a guy who can't take a subtle hint.
Here is this big news for next week. Former FBI agent John Douglas the man who created the Behavioral Science Unit at Quantico will be here to discuss the predatory aspects of Steven Spreaficos song Stubborn Man. In addition Douglas, using only online tools and neighborhood interviews will take a closer look at Steven's lyrical style and delve into Stevens very public, private life. We’ll look at his upbringing on the ranch, his career choice and current lifestyle and what we find may shock you.
Look for this exciting exclusive:
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. The Steven Spreafico story.
With special guest John Douglas.
The vocal on this video shows Steven's lame attempt at vocal processing.
Some people.... I don't know who they are, But some people I'm sure could say his singing is "Not Bad."
God knows you can't call it good but it doesn't cause internal bleeding so thats NOT BAD.
Just to prove how bad Stevens voice is (LIKE I HAVE TO DO THAT!) Here is a demo of an Auto-Tune system. This is a vocal processing system that can turn shit into highly processed shinola.
Now this guy is doing a demo in response to an artist called TPain but the point is well made.
It is clear this guy cant sing and his processed version isn't half bad. How bad do you have to be for the processed vocal to sound bad?
After hearing that go back and experience the pain that is Blue Eyed "Hollywood" cow"Boy" and note how much that sack o' craps voice is processed.
I know ya'll heard it the first time but I have a sneaking suspicion I am posting this so Steven knows we are on to his obvious vocal suckatude. He seems like a guy who can't take a subtle hint.
Here is this big news for next week. Former FBI agent John Douglas the man who created the Behavioral Science Unit at Quantico will be here to discuss the predatory aspects of Steven Spreaficos song Stubborn Man. In addition Douglas, using only online tools and neighborhood interviews will take a closer look at Steven's lyrical style and delve into Stevens very public, private life. We’ll look at his upbringing on the ranch, his career choice and current lifestyle and what we find may shock you.
Look for this exciting exclusive:
Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. The Steven Spreafico story.
With special guest John Douglas.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Here is some more broken glass for your eyeballs.
Before I show you this next video I just want to be the responsible blogger and point out this guys home phone and home fax number are found here
If you are in the market for a home... call up the stupid fuck and have him show you one.
So much for the potatoes... here is the meat:
Watch Steven air-kiss farm animals and tell you how hard it is to be him. Listen to him be proud of his ranch upbringing and hate it in the same breath. He is clearly filming on what he claims to be his parents ranch as somebody, off camera, tries to shoo him away. This "I can do anything" attitude from a person with limited experience can only end one way.
What a fuckin' idiot.
As a native of Hollywood I find this guy a repulsive trans-plant.
As a gay man I am outraged at his behavior. This is the gay equivalent to Fried Chicken and Watermelon.
As a man I just want to beat the fuckin crap out of him.**
As a no-budget film producer I want to beat him up*** for wasting my already free time!
Steven,
There is "Camp" and there is "Retarded". There is no such thing as "Retarded Camp."*
You can see that he is a spoiled brat who treats people like crap.
Damn him for giving Hollywood a bad name.
Why couldn't he have gone to Alaska like that Into the Wild idiot?
Seen here:
At least that Into the Wild kid got what was coming to his stupid ass. I hope there is a broken bus in Alaska for Steven.
*There is only one exception here.
**While I say I want to actually assault this Ass-Clown I do not want to come near him. I wish peace on earth and for Steven to be... somewhere else. I would never hit another person out of anger rage or disgust. Not even out of pure blind hatred.
*** Yes... I'll make a violent exception...for this. My mighty hammers would have to give him a smote or two.
If you are in the market for a home... call up the stupid fuck and have him show you one.
So much for the potatoes... here is the meat:
Watch Steven air-kiss farm animals and tell you how hard it is to be him. Listen to him be proud of his ranch upbringing and hate it in the same breath. He is clearly filming on what he claims to be his parents ranch as somebody, off camera, tries to shoo him away. This "I can do anything" attitude from a person with limited experience can only end one way.
What a fuckin' idiot.
As a native of Hollywood I find this guy a repulsive trans-plant.
As a gay man I am outraged at his behavior. This is the gay equivalent to Fried Chicken and Watermelon.
As a man I just want to beat the fuckin crap out of him.**
As a no-budget film producer I want to beat him up*** for wasting my already free time!
Steven,
There is "Camp" and there is "Retarded". There is no such thing as "Retarded Camp."*
You can see that he is a spoiled brat who treats people like crap.
Damn him for giving Hollywood a bad name.
Why couldn't he have gone to Alaska like that Into the Wild idiot?
Seen here:
At least that Into the Wild kid got what was coming to his stupid ass. I hope there is a broken bus in Alaska for Steven.
*There is only one exception here.
**While I say I want to actually assault this Ass-Clown I do not want to come near him. I wish peace on earth and for Steven to be... somewhere else. I would never hit another person out of anger rage or disgust. Not even out of pure blind hatred.
*** Yes... I'll make a violent exception...for this. My mighty hammers would have to give him a smote or two.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
There are some people you wish would go to Texas.
I want to punch his stupid face.
You are the reason people hate gay folk. Go back to your "Cattle Ranch" in San Luis Obispo. Get out of Hollywood.
Why are realtors such ugly people?
Read his (clearly self written) bio here.
You are the reason people hate gay folk. Go back to your "Cattle Ranch" in San Luis Obispo. Get out of Hollywood.
Why are realtors such ugly people?
Read his (clearly self written) bio here.
Monday, October 22, 2007
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