More Moo and Oink! Furrie meat specials.

They seem a tad gay. I think that cow humps that pig.

Disneylands added security fails again.

Everyone who rides Disneyland's popular "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction knows "dead men tell no tales," and its animatronic figures aren't talking either. But, oh, if they could.

On Friday, workers at the Anaheim theme park spotted a guest on the ride sprinkling an unidentified substance into the water, prompting them to close the attraction and alert police.

"A witness described the substance as a baby powder that quickly dissipated," Disneyland resort spokesman Rob Doughty said. "We reopened the attraction after determining that there was no hazard to our guests."

Anaheim police decided not to take a report because they lacked a good description of the female suspect and the evidence was dumped into the water, Sgt. Rick Martinez said.

But within hours of Friday's incident, online columnists and bloggers who track news at the park said they began receiving e-mails from Disney employees claiming the episode was a case of the surreptitious scattering of human ashes.

Al Lutz, who runs miceage.com and first posted reports of the incident Tuesday, said several e-mails indicated that this was a recurring problem at the park.

Disney officials said they were unaware of any confirmed ash-scattering incidents in the park, and they didn't believe it to be a problem. From time to time, guests do ask permission to disperse ashes on park premises. The answer, Doughty said, is always no.

Without written permission, it's a misdemeanor violation of the state Health and Safety Code to scatter human ashes on private property, although there's little that authorities can do to enforce the law. Officials say the ashes pose no health threat.

Increasingly, though, inspectors with the Cemetery and Funeral Bureau of the state Department of Consumer Affairs are fielding calls from golf courses and other spots reporting people spreading ashes without permission.

"If these were rogue funeral directors out there tossing remains out of rides, we would take a very dim view of this," bureau spokesman Kevin Flanagan said. "I don't think it's any secret to anybody that people will scatter ashes where people can get away with it. But how are you going to enforce something like that?"

In "Mouse Tales: A Behind-the-Ears Look at Disneyland," author David Koenig said the park's Haunted Mansion had been the site of at least one previous ash-scattering.

Koenig's book quoted an employee, whom he did not identify, who recounted the case of a small group of visitors who arrived at the Haunted Mansion on a Saturday night in December 2002. The group requested a little extra time for a quick memorial service for a 7-year-old boy who had died, the employee said, according to Koenig.

But later, ride operators spotted one of the guests throwing a powdery substance off her "Doom Buggy."

After the ride was shut down, the employee discovered "a smattering of dust, 'gray, like ash,' " Koenig wrote.

Lets hope it was just human remains. Yo ho yo ho a cough cough cough cough wheeze.

A little late for your concern

Today as I left work there was a little service going on in the parking lot. The same company that didnt check up on the employee for three days to see if he was ok. The same boss who didnt care to call when the guy didn't show up for three days after going home sick. Several of the 2nd floor cubemates, about 30 all gathered to pay their only respects to a co-worker who died monday.

His body was in the parking lot for 3 days before anyone cared to call the police. He made it to his car after going home early because he wasn't feeling well. He reclined his seat in the car and rolled down the windows and took a nice big sleep.

Theye were dressed in suits and were standing around his final parking space. In the space they had an 8x10 glossy headshot of the now deceased co-worker. The picture propped up by an ashtray or something of that sort.


YA'LL DID'NT CARE WHEN HE WAS ALIVE!


Funny places these insurance companies.

There is some truth to Brinks.

Check out this idiots real ad!

Yes there is somebody who is more stupidererer than George W Bush.

Rufus Wainwright

Holy crap here he is singing in a low budget film that wreaks of "CANADIAN". He's just a little kid.

Flow with the chart.

Brad "Pringles" Pitt

The sexiest mug shot.

Thanks to the smoking gun a new t-shirt image is born.

Some fun TV trailers for ya.

Note that "BEN" was released by BCP.
BCP was, get this, BING CROSBY PRODUCTIONS.

And the award goes to...

Ryan O'Neal.

Congratulations on the worst line reading ever!

Ryan O'Neal in Norman Mailer's "Tough Guys Don't Dance" demonstrates the most melodramatic line reading of all time.

Remember him in Barry Lyndon? This is proof that directors can make a difference.

Thank you Luke for finding this gem.

Look who became funny again... The Brits.

Disney float splits in half and crashes to the ground. No one noticed.

The float cracked at the waist and came crashing down. No one was hurt. The float is going to be out of the parade until repaired.

No one cares about parades.

Have a happy weekend!

Doovde

lying in wait

Click on the title of this post to go to the photographers flikr page.

When you die...

When you die try not to do it in a public place.
If you find the need to die in a public place try to have a death buddy with you. A death buddy is the person with you who has no idea you were going to die but can alert the needed authorities when you die. A death buddy is needed to ensure you are remembered for being a person. They will ensure you are remembered buy your achevements or lack of.

If no deathbuddy is around here is how your death will be remembered.

"Hey! There is a dead body in the parking lot!"
(entire floor runs to one corner of the building and presses there face against the oneway glass that doesnt open)

(worker #83 fights his way to the glass and says:
"OH MY GOD! That is THAT guy."

"what guy?"
"Me and (name) were coming back from lunch yesterday and we saw him. I told (Name) that guy looks dead."

He was dead.

Dead guy was also a human just like one of us. He had a mother and a father and touched many lives.
Everything he had ever done was gone. He was now just "DEAD GUY."


As I left and the cops had taken control of that corner of the lot, the story on the floor was: he worked at another company in our building and went home early monday because he didn't feel well.

He never made it home.

moo and oink

So its not really stealing?

Writers Strike.

You just go ahead and strike. You wont affect me. I'm clear of your demands. Your money has already been made by the time I get to work on the fruits of your "labor." So you rest assured that while others will suffer directly I am immune to your strike. Just keep in mind the last time you whined and demanded more the face of television was changed. 1988 was the birth of the "Reality" Television genre. I look forward to the monster you will inadvertantly create this time.


Oh by the way you never have written anything new. All the stories have been told.

Slash Shreds

The original is not much better:

Majestic Butterhorn Update

Click the title of this post to see these fine patrons of the magic kingdom.

FAT COPS!

Yep it is just like the Majestic Butterhorn but its all about cops.
Click on the title of this post to see or submit fat cop pictures.

Warning: this link contains an audio loop of the "Cops" Theme.
Prepare to be annoyed.

Spotted at Disneyland. A LIVING THING!

Carlos Santana gets to shred too.

Eddie Van Halen shreds

It is the smattering of applause that gets me.

Happy Sunday

Did the writers go on strike already?

Because clearly someone has hired that scab "Frankenstein" to write this headline.


"Fire good."

Haunted Mansion Holiday

Retardis Morissette