Showing posts with label idiot actors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiot actors. Show all posts

Sunday, May 20, 2007

He does because he cares


CANNES, France - About a decade ago, when Leonardo DiCaprio was on the cusp of megastardom and Al Gore was the U.S. vice president, the two thought about global warming at the same time. Perhaps Al looked up at the stars and Leo glancing from the balcony of his “friends” Los Feliz apartment saw a star that looked a lot like the one Al was looking at…
in another part of the world…
2 hours earlier.
Now an all-out environmental activist, DiCaprio has followed Gore's lead by bringing a climate change documentary to the Cannes Film Festival. DiCaprio co-produced and co-wrote "The 11th Hour," which explains how humans have changed the climate and how to fix the damage. Its Dicaprio’s Battle Beyond the Stars to Gore’s Star Wars.

Wearing what appeared to be pink dyed polar bear feet as slippers a childs plastic Superman Returns cape and baby harp seal Speedos the “actor” recorded a memo into a micro cassette recorder and handed it to his teen-version-of-himself assistant to give to the press who were standing less than five feet away. "It's such an amazingly large issue, and you suddenly you feel like, what can I do? What can I do? It's too big for me to deal with," the 32-year-old actor told reporters Saturday as he sipped rum out of a multi-umbrella’d pineapple in a beach cabana overlooking the Mediterranean.

DiCaprio said the environmental movement owed a great debt to Gore, whose "An Inconvenient Truth," was shown at Cannes and won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. Dicaprio also added that he has not been in actual contact with any members of this movement but, as he puts it “knows how they feel.”

"I think that movie, through the cinematic format, was able to convey science to the public and to the media in a way that it had never done before. Oh and also a venti half caf frappachino conveys yummy to my tummy even more yummy than air or water alone.” DiCaprio said.

He vaguely recalls their “meeting” about 10 years ago, Gore "took his time to talk to me about the issue of global warming, which I didn't really understand very much about, I was kinda high and its taken this long for the information to sink in. In fact I thought I was ordering drive thru that’s how wasted I was. I was pissed that the end of the conversation I didn’t have my two .99 tacos. From then on I've kind of been more active."

While "An Inconvenient Truth" laid out the science behind global warming and its impact, DiCaprio's film doesn't try to prove that global warming exists — it accepts that it does and goes from there. It asks and responds to philosophical questions such as, how did mankind let nature deteriorate to this point?

DiCaprio, as Sprigdiggle the magical Earth-elf narrates the movie. The film was directed by Leila Conners Petersen and Nadia Conners and includes commentary by visionaries from physicist Stephen Hawking to former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev.

For a new project, DiCaprio is looking for a script with an environmental and dance theme. Possibly with puppets.

"It can't be just a film about the environment for the sake of doing it," he said. "It's got to be powerful and moving. ... It's got to be good."

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Out for Justice IN A CAN!


I cant think of anything better than drinking my favorite Steven Segal movie. Since that is not possible this energy drink is the next best thing. Ohh check out the flavors!

This is truly a can of shoulder padded, belly rubbin' blues singin' whoop-ass!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Dude you are hired!

This guy is funny. Just sit thru the weak opening and you'll see some fine improv work shining thru. Fake teeth and all.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Eaglerocks new spokesperson?

I have to go wash my eyes. This is one horrible commercial.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Oh Edna ...close your robe.



Gross. Travolta is just Gross.

Who does his hair now? Clokey or Devo? I'm pretty sure Bela Lugosi used to wear that exact wig.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Baby made a Boom Boom


I just cant look at that face without thinking her pantsuit is filled with warm vegetable slurry.

Monday, February 19, 2007

And now a word from someones sponsor

Hey look it's Janice Dickinsons funny lil sister!
Sandra sells out without you wanting to think she has.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Sir Ian Sir Ian Sir Ian... OH I HAVE TO PISS ON YOU?...Sir Ian Sir Ian

Ok, first Jake brags to Sir Ian that he used to be a lifeguard. That little exchange quickly goes south (or north depending on your point of view) with Jake asking Sir Ian to piss on him. Sir Ian's eyes light up and he turns his back to the camera and points his shame at Jake.
Sir Ian looks like he had his hair done in the limo by some rough (not his hippy boyfriend) trade.
Then...
another Queen shows up.

Salvadore Dahli presents THE BAFTAS.


Friday, February 9, 2007

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Rod Serling writes his life.


Be careful what you wish for Mr. Travolta.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Lost Bond Spoof


IF LOOKS COULD KILL

As the reigning teen idol of 21 Jump Street and Booker, Richard Grieco tested the big screen in this farce. If Looks Could Kill should be admired for the ripping off virtually every Bond film with shameless abandon while thankfully staying away from the slapstick of Spy Hard or the hallucinogenic stupidity of Casino Royale.

Grieco is Michael Corbin, high-school slacker (even though Grieco was 26 at the time) who goes to Paris with his French class for a much-needed foreign language credit. Naturally there’s a super-spy booked on the same flight who just happens to have the same name. Convenient confusion results, the spy Corbin is killed, and the student Corbin is suddenly the target of a maniacal would-be dictator (Roger Rees), his diminutive assassin (Linda Hunt), a big-breasted femme fatale named "Aureola" (wink, wink), and a large man with a steel hand who grunts a lot and bumbles around with the same endearing buffoonery that made Jaws so popular.

Bond references hurled at the viewer en masse. Taken by the British Secret Service to their laboratory, Corbin is given the traditional gadgets: explosive chewing gum, x-ray glasses, and a Lotus Esprit complete with tuxedo in the trunk. Before long he’s -- you guessed it -- playing baccarat with the villain in a casino, introducing himself as "Corbin ... Michael Corbin," and gallivanting around the countryside with a beautiful waif (Gabrielle Anwar in an early role) bent on revenge. All this time, his French class and their witch of a teacher get mistaken for a group of mercenaries and are kidnapped, then released, then kidnapped again, without ever realizing it.

Taken in context, If Looks Could Kill is a hysterically funny romp through the warped mind of a screenwriter intent on going way over the top. As such, the only time the film falters is when it slows down to needlessly develop the obligatory romantic subplot. Aside from some violence that borders on disturbing in the comedic way it’s played, there’s nothing even remotely serious about this film.

Predictably, If Looks Could Kill was hammered by most critics. But in a daring move, Roger Ebert gave it a "thumbs up" and said it "plays like a head-on collision between [James] Bond and Indiana Jones, if the primary goal of both of those heroes was transcendent silliness." If Looks Could Kill gives us the best of all worlds: it’s a Bond spoof made with a big budget and written securely in contemporary comedic style.

And whatever happened to Richard Grieco? He released a music CD in Europe and can be found on his Official Web Site (www.rgrieco.com ohhh sorry its been defunct for quite some time.) Well...
You can find pictures of Richard at www.AWFULPLASTICSURGERY.com

As for the movie? It is not offered on netflix simply because WARNER BROS has not bothered to make DVDs. The last release was on February 7th 1995 on fabulous VHS. Check your local thrift store.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Talk about your suck ass cartoons!


Boy I cant tell you how much I hate this cartoon!

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home chronicles the lives of the Boyles, your average 1970's American family. Harry Boyle, the father, owns a restaurant supply company. His wife Irma portrays the typical housewife, with an occasional independent flare. Harry and Irma have three children: Chet, Alice, and Jamie. Chet, who is 22, is a college dropout, who spends most of his time sleeping. Alice is a rather robust 16-year-old, who teams up with her mother, to display the independence of women, in the 70's. Jamie is the Capitalist of the family, even though he is only 9.



The show is set in the suburbs of Los Angeles, on Elm Street, to be precise.



During the 1973 season, the show was host to many celebrity voices, including: Don Knotts, Phyllis Diller, Maude, and many more. The reason for this was that many of these guests were carried over from The New Scooby-Doo Movies, which was recording at the time.



According to Joe Barbera's biography the show should have been a hit; however, the show was produced on a low budget at another studio, so it did not see the success that it might have, if it was produced at Hanna-Barbera Studios.


Voices:

* Harry Boyle - Tom Bosley
* Irma Boyle his wife - Joan Gerber
* Alice Boyle his daughter - Kristina Holland
* Chet Boyle the oldest son - David Hayward
* Jamie Boyle the youngest son - Jackie Haley
* Ralph the neighbor - Jack Burns


Opening Song Lyrics:



I love my Mom and Dad and my brothers too,

And the groovy way we get along,

But every time the slightest little thing goes wrong,

Mom starts to sing this familiar song.



Wait till your father gets, until your father gets,

Wait till your father gets home.



Dad's not so bad, and he seldom gets mad,

And we aren't about to desert him.

Kids today like to have their own way,

And what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him.



I think my Mom's just swell, but she starts to yell,

Everytime we have a ruck,

Just wait till your father gets, until your father gets,

Wait till your father gets home.

Shadoe Stevens

While he has gone on to have a mediocre voice-over career he will forever be known as Fred Rated of Federated.

Monday, January 29, 2007

By the horns of everything satanic.



I know its a Christmas movie but I just had to share. Watch for the part where lil' Lupita sees two creepy hand puppets have rough man-puppet sex. If you can sit thru that there is a section later on where Lupita dreams of two-faced dancing zombies that emerge from flip top coffins.
The zombies show Lupita their knickers.

Here is more from the same film:

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Jim Morrison

Without the hair he was just a pudgy dork who couldn't act.

Sid Davis inspired

Why Yes Billy. Not only did Sid Davis help save the world from itself He also inspired others to make their own films.


Why heres one now:


And with all the wonderful credits at the end of this little film it seems that everyone wants to bang the Sid Davis drum.