Thursday, December 20, 2007

Crazytrain: Destination Stevenwood. Conclusion

I've done a line by line analysis of his video.


Here is the transcript and my notes:


Stubborn man is a song that I wrote

(The emphasis is on his achievement of writing a song and not the song itself.)

and its about (Sigh) the men in my life. They’re so stubborn.

(Stubborn is Steven’s word for disinterested. The men in this video are nameless numbered strangers who don’t connect to Steven on some fantastic unspoken mystical plain. Or is it that they find him repulsive?)

(On balcony of his house)

I be damned if I am going to sit here in MY house alone

(Again Steven stresses his achievement. This time the achievement is of owning a home. Something that would be an easy feat for any realtor. As for being alone it seems that he is contradicting himself as he just described this song as being about all the stubborn men in his life yet… he is alone. That could only mean that the stubborn man is him and no one else.)

when I can go down to the gay bar and I’m gonna find myself a man

(This is the troubling part of Steven. His deluded belief in his abilities leads him to believe he can pluck a relationship from the bar like you pick fruit off a tree. He has no desire to have any type of emotional contact with his prey. He just wants to “Go get one.” He dehumanizes these men. To Steven, men are objects to use… like toilet paper.)

and when I walk into the bar I see three men like, staring at me.

(By simply looking his way Steven believes they are staring at him. If any eye contact is made that constitutes “Staring.” In reality, in a bar-type atmosphere they are judging him.)

Number one is wiggling his Levi jeans.

(This is Stevens fantasy world. This line tells a little more about Steven. His ideal cowboy is not a cowboy at all. A real cowboy would not be caught dead in Levis but that is not the odd part about this line. The unusual part is that numbered nameless faceless object/person is wiggling his Levi jeans. Steven shows little interest about the person inside the jeans aside that the person is a male but mentions the clothes a wiggling magically on there own. What’s inside the clothes is less important. Any normally adjusted gay man would mention the ass in those jeans. Since he has no interest in the ass inside those jeans this leads me to believe our Realtor, Steven, is a bottom.)

Number two has big hands, (chuckle) If you know what I mean

(No average to well endowed gay man would make this kind of reference. This reinforces the “Bottom” aspect of Steven as well as the hunch he is unhappy with the size of his penis.)

and number three has the most piercing bright smile and (sigh) eyes staring at me.

(He means “Not White”. Take that mom and dad!)

Its about promoting safe sex and how I put on a saddle and took him for a ride I really think its important for men all across the world to always practice safe sex.

(Since the song mentions nothing about safe sex this statement is totally false. I would have to say that Stevens is false about the entire concept of safe sex. I’ll not dwell on that. It depresses me.)

Number one and two are guys that kinda like the energy didn’t connect and that’s another stubborn man hanging on my wall.

(Steven again confuses disinterested with stubborn. Perhaps this is a sign of a mediocre realtor? If someone shows disinterest in a house does it mean they don’t want the house? It’s the Realtors job to convince them this is the right house for them even if it isn’t. Those are stubborn clients to Steven. Not disinterested but stubborn. Steven shows his creepy predatory side by keeping tabs on those disinterested men. The “hanging on my wall” is a little too creepy even with the visual of Steven sticking up a picture of a disinterested man to a fake wall.)

Just such a wonderful, fun dance song.

(There is nothing wonderful about this song. It is not a dance song. In fact it is almost impossible to dance to. This would be Steven trying to pass off yet another failure as a success. )

(Music Video Begins)

Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wait around here all day.

(Wait? Wait for what? Sex to come to him? Steven exposes more of his predatory nature by waiting at home for sex. I’ll bet that Steven has an Adam for Adam or Manhunt account with a name like WehoCowboy.)

I’m young and free I’m a wild coyote

(Steven misrepresents himself here as young but he is actually in his early 40’s. As young can be relative yes he is young if you are 70 or 80. As for being a Coyote? That statement is the most honest he will ever get. Coyote’s are scavengers of the night. Prowling the city for scraps)

so get the hell outta my way

(This displays his need to show superiority over others. His need to satisfy his sexual urge with a faceless nameless stranger is overpowering and nothing or anybody will stop him.)

So I’m gonna go down to “the bar” tonight
And I’ll have a line of cowboys smiling at me.

(Stevens seems to think that everyone in a bar is there for him. In his mind everyone is on this planet to serve him. We all are here for Steven. Each and every one of us is on his buffet menu.)

Number one is shaking his Levi jeans.
Number two has big hands, you know what I mean
Number three has a big smile and piercing bright eyes smiling at me.

(Bright eyes smiling. Stevens attempt at being a songwriter fails miserably at this point.)

Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right

(Again with the wiggling empty clothes.)

And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.

( Like a spider he spins his web. In Stevens mind the prey is helpless to Stevens advances)

(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.

(I can’t possibly image whats going thru his mind. He seems to have infatalized his predatory sex game.)

Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man

(Steven’s attempt at clever metaphor with the Ride the horse line. The amazing thing is the Chorus ends with his exclamation of Stubborn man. Its as if he gets what he wants and then has to insult his victim by calling him names.)


Well, Elvis, Rudolph Valentino and Madonna are like Me.

(Steven believes he is famous. His statement here is so random yet so necessary. He needs you to understand that he is important. His parents factor into this need to shout out I Am Somebody. It is clear that his republican parents disapprove of his lifestyle and Steven needs to show them he is not a failier. Even if that means making a statement like this with no basis in reality.)

My story is really like Winona Judd and her mom
‘cause my father and I butt heads but we still love to sing.

(Strangely absent from this picture is his actual mom. I suspect his mom is a successful realtor and the spotlight would be taken away from little Stevie if she were in the picture. Even a failed relationship is worth mentioning here as Steven points out that the relationship with his father is rocky. The only thing he has in common with his dad is the love of song? How sad.)

Well I picked up my man and went outside.
Put on the saddle and took him for a ride.

(A strange turn in the song as he just mentions the bad relationship with his father in one breath then in the next tells us about his sexual encounter with a strange man. Note that Steven Spreafico now owns this man as he refers to him as “MY MAN” He also did not take the nameless faceless sex object home to have sex but simply “outside”. It was “outside” not just in HIS house in the hills just above the bar. He needed to have sex “somewhere else.” This simple line seems to stem from an actual event. My guess is he did take the guy to his house and they had sex in the hot tub. You know Steven has to have a hot tub. It is a predator tool. Steven’s need further dehumanize his victim has reached a peak as he now seems to treat the man as a farm animal. That is even more disturbing as Steven comes from a farm and a short line can be drawn from sex with this nameless man to sex with a farm animal. Steven seems to be telling more about his past than I care to know.)



Wouldnja know the next day he didn’t call.

(For a normal person this would not come as a surprise as this was a one night stand Bar pickup)

Nahh ahhh
Another stubborn man hanging on my wall

(He places a picture of trick on wall next to a picture of Steven himself, with the caption “the simple life” below it. Another disinterested nameless man in a long line of nameless men. This shot of him placing a zed card shot onto a fake wall reminds me of Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the film Happiness. If you haven’t seen it go rent that film and be even more disgusted at this shot. )

Well I’m gonna go back and find “Number Two”

(I’m going out on a limb here by not making the obvious Scatological reference. Steven doesn't care who he is with. It is the conquest of getting anyone that is his thrill.)

I’m gonna “rope” the cutest one.

( I’m pretty sure he misspelled a word there)

Wait who’s there looking at me?
Sending his energy. It’s number three.

(Stevens mythical West Hollywood men have unique telepathic abilities. Aqua-man powers if you will. What a surprise the barfly returned to the bar. What a catch Steven!)

Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man

Number three
I hope this one is here to stay

(still no name and no indication he’ll do anything to keep this trick around. Aside from sex there is no other reason for his man to stay. His lonely desperate cry for this man to stay is just a reflection on his own family life and how they never paid him any attention.)


(distorted little voice) I hope this one is here to stay.
You know it aint easy out there being gay

(Out where? Outside of his mystical fantasy world. That’s where. Steven is so out of touch with the real world yet seems to be aware of that fact on some level.)

Or happy happy

(His attempt at a humorous lyric.)

Those cowboys want to dial me up
Have their fun they don’t know
I’m the one In control.
(distorted voice)Pulling the reigns

(Oh and now the truth comes out. The curtain is pulled back to reveal the power hungry little monster within. Since he was only with one cowboy in this song this section is part fantasy but the other is pure ugly unadulterated truth. In Steven’s mind Steven is the one in control. The entire world is his to manipulate. You, me, your parents, your friends, the grocer the shop-clerk all are here for Steven. If they don’t perform to his satisfaction they will pay.)

So just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man


Swing your partner
Round and round
Wiggle those Levi's left to right
And just have fun
Stubborn man
Rope him tight.
(Little voice) Don’t let him get away now.
Hooo hooo hoo hooo.
Stubborn man
Ride ride ride that horse
Stubborn man


End Report.

3 comments:

Luke said...

You know, with a little tweaking this would be a reasonable term paper: "DESTINATION STEVENWOOD: Stubborn Man as a Declaration of Personal Insecurity" or something like that. Congratulations: you are ready to become an English major!

Luke said...

Oh, and the line "don't let 'em get away now" is clearly Steven giving the viewer/listener a direct view of his insecurity, using the quiet tone to emphasize his fear of abandonment.

Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Oh, Gavin, you've given a brilliant analysis of someone who has all the depth of a puddle of hummingbird piss. Your many talents deserve to be put to better use that dissecting Steven, but I read every stinking word all the same. I wonder if Levis paid him for that blatant product placement? Yes, real cowboys would probably be in Lees or Wranglers. I wonder how much he paid men #1-3? They look so disinterested whatever the price.