Fuck Spartacus. All I did wanted to do was ask him some questions and what did I get? Tazed. Now I have permanent nerve damage and an inability to control my bowels.
After 13 straight hours of trying to contact Mike Douglas all I got was a major cramp in my hand and this e-mailed picture.
Clearly I was going about this all wrong. Mike Douglas is not dead. He is undead. That is why the Ojai board didn't work. As we all know undead people tend to be a little confused. He is now asking me about Steven Spreafico. I wanted to ask him about this Steven guy. Zombies are idiots.