Spiderman 3. "So Spiderman is a superhero after killing an innocent man who didn't kill his father? What the hell was with the FEVER scene?"
Psycho "Norman was the only person who really got what he needed. He brought his mother back from the dead."
Vetigo "Scotty was a drunk. Ya think he would have noticed Judy was the same girl if he was sober?"
Fight Club "Oh my god that was so gay."
Land of the Dead "So the moment you become a zombie your clothes become shreaded and your face becomes rotten even though you've only been dead for a few moments?"
The Island "What the fuck? Coma meets Logans Run?"
Blade Trinity "Wow that was the worst Buffy episode ever."
Van Helsing "I Hate Stephen Sommers. He is a menace. Ya just dont steal from Bond!"
Alien vs Predator "The stupid pyramid stopped shifting when it became inconvienent for the action."
Halloween remake "Rob Zombie is an idiot."
Finding Nemo "So the momfish really died? Thats terrible."
Lady in the Water "I want a refund and I want to sue for pain and suffering. Never again! No more of this M Night crap"
Hannibal Rising "Teenibal was kinda hot."
Bambi "So the mom is really dead?"
Toy Story 2 "Jessie was a lesbian."
Jacksons King Kong "How the hell can she be standing barefoot in just a slip, in the middle of winter on top of the Empire State building without freezing? Her nipples wern't even hard?"
Robocop "Goddamnit the credits arn't even over! Give me a minute."
Pocahontas " Her necklace looked like a vagina."
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. "Hitler huh huh... That was funny."
6 comments:
Few people remember that it was a nun that kills Judy. "I heard voices..." Yeah, bitch, mind your own friggin' business.
How many of those damned Spiderman movies have there been now? They and Harry Potter are always on planes when I fly. Then the movie gods get really cruel and make me watch Tim Allen movies.
Re: Bambi/Nemo: It's not a Disney film until your mom dies.
Re: King Kong: I was asleep by that point.
Rob Zombie IS an idiot.
Don't let our man Elster's comments fool you. I saw "Halloween" with him, and he loved every second of it. The lack of suspense, the pointless script, the tragic misuse of a classic piece of horror movie music- every moment was praised by Gavin as a the start of a new era in horror movie films, and era where things like "logic" and "plot" and "suspense" can be discarded for the joy of women crawling.
Don't forget it was the best use of Mickey Dolenz since thos Millers Outpost Ads.
I loved "Blade Trinity". And, yes, I realize that makes me an idiot.
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