Saturday, June 30, 2007
McHairy Bastards
If someone told me Mcdonalds gave out free razors with each breakfast I would never have believed it. Gordon Jump looks way too old to be this kids dad.
Bless you YouTube.
Bloutube.
Prell
If your a married to a loser who has over extended himself and put your well being at risk have we got a shampoo for you!
This is the scene just before he pimps her ass for a tank of gas.
This is the scene just before he pimps her ass for a tank of gas.
Moore Milk.
I know during a hot exterior shoot I want an tall open bug friendly glass of milk. The looks on their faces are priceless. They know how unrealistic it is and yet... they are getting paid. I take that back. They most likely are not getting paid. Just look at the disdain in Sir Roger's eyes.
Wai dillya tasteum
Whoa.
This is like a drag masterclass.
Its hard to believe those are real women. The man.. er I mean... main freakazoid in the black and white outfit reminds me of Laura Bush when she talks about her " airtight can."
This is like a drag masterclass.
Its hard to believe those are real women. The man.. er I mean... main freakazoid in the black and white outfit reminds me of Laura Bush when she talks about her " airtight can."
You can't skimp when it comes to your children.
The best offense is a good defense.
Just say "NOT SO MANY" to Twinkies.
Twinkies can cause 4 year old kids to sound like they have been smoking 2 packs a day, as is the case here with little Adam Rich.
Every word out of this "MOMS" mouth I want to return with a closed fist. Everything about her makes the impending sugar coma oh so welcome. It is like a republican Jesus crawled into her ear and has to chew through to get out the other side. Of course it had to lay eggs on its journey. Stiff, pious republcunt. You know... The type that would wear a blouse that matches the wallpaper in the breakfast nook. Oh and not skimping on the kids means giving them chemical confections that will kill them over time. Why not just strap on a sugar feedbag you mindless passive aggressive bitch.Oh and she never really answers her husbands question but deflects it with a chat about Twinkies. She is a monster.
This next one clearly shows that Hostess is the snack of choice for BITCHY MOMS. What a control freak. She barks commands and teaches her children that food will only be supplied when she says so and not by anyone else's command. It's like these children were nothing but a pack of sugar-hungry animals that need to be beat on the nose with a rolled newspaper. Check out her squirrely yet self aware body language that seems to be saying "I beat them and then cry for hours about my insatiable need to beat them."
Be sure to catch the final tableau as she strikes her all powerful Jesus provider pose. Her giving arms outstretched surrounding the flock. The Jesus moment is really driven home in the final shot as the entire picnic takes on a dreamlike "last supper" quality.
Bitch bitch bitch. For those of you not paying close attention those words were Creamed and Chocolaty. Not Cream. Not Chocolate. A sly trick that seemed to work in the 70's. Now, if this were a current commercial, I would demand they use the words CREAMISH and BROWN.
Speaking of Brown get a load of that show promo at the end. God I forgot about that show!
The final one is a classic. Again there is that word CREAMED. How stupid were we? CREAMED? That could have been anything in there. CREAMED CORN FILLING. Creamed chicken puss. Anything! This is how not to do a commercial. Name a few random things and add Hostess at the end and you've got America. I recall actually yelling random things at the TV screen when this commercial came on.
Lightbulb! Toothpaste! Chickenbutt and Hostess. You get the idea.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
M.O.D. = MITT OUT DOG
The incident: dog excrement found on the roof and windows of the Romney station wagon. How it got there: Mitt Romney strapped a dog carrier — with the family dog Seamus, an Irish Setter, in it — to the roof of the family station wagon for a twelve hour drive from Boston to Ontario, which the family apparently completed, despite Seamus's rather visceral protest.
Massachusetts's animal cruelty laws specifically prohibit anyone from carrying an animal "in or upon a vehicle, or otherwise, in an unnecessarily cruel or inhuman manner or in a way and manner which might endanger the animal carried thereon." An officer for the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals responded to a description of the situation saying "it's definitely something I'd want to check out." The officer, Nadia Branca, declined to give a definitive opinion on whether Romney broke the law but did note that it's against state law to have a dog in an open bed of a pick-up truck, and "if the dog was being carried in a way that endangers it, that would be illegal."
And while it appears that the statute of limitations has probably passed, Stacey Wolf, attorney and legislative director for the ASPCA, said "even if it turns out to not be against the law at the time, in the district, we'd hope that people would use common sense...Any manner of transporting a dog that places the animal in serious danger is something that we'd think is inappropriate...I can't speak to the accuracy of the case, but it raises concerns about the judgment used in this particular situation."
Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, was less circumspect. PETA does not have a position on Romney's candidacy per se, but Newkirk called the incident "a lesson in cruelty that was ... wrong for [his children] to witness...Thinking of the wind, the weather, the speed, the vulnerability, the isolation on the roof, it is commonsense that any dog who's under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured."
Romney, of course, has expressed support for the use of "enhanced interrogation" techniques when it comes to terrorists; his campaign refused to comment about the treatment of his dog.
As organizer of the Salt Lake City Olympic Games, Romney came under fire from some animal welfare groups for including a rodeo exhibition as part of the Games' festivities. At the time, he told protesters, "We are working hard to make this as safe a rodeo for cowboys and animals as is humanly possible."
Larry King = crazy
KING: George, where were you?
MCCARTNEY: George!
KING: Ringo.
MCCARTNEY: No, this is Ringo here.
KING: Ringo, where were you?
STARR: I was in the Bahamas.
KING: I was getting to (INAUDIBLE) George.
STARR: I was…
MCCARTNEY: No, you weren’t, Larry. You said his name wrong.
STARR: Shut up, it’s my turn.
MCCARTNEY: I know, but he got your name wrong, Ringo, on national television.
STARR: I know. Give him a break.
MCCARTNEY: We can’t cut it. It’s live.
STARR: Anyway, I was in the Bahamas and the kids called and they said we’ve heard something, like John has been hurt.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
READ THIS LARRY KING! YOU SUCK!
An open angry note to Larry King.
I just read the transcript from tonight's show with Paris Hilton. What was promised to be a "no holds barred" interview was a fluff piece to bolster ratings.
What Businesses does she run? When is she ever in an office? Wait... she doesn't take drugs? WHAT? I'm pretty damn sure if I cared more about this I could drum up some Internet pictures of her smoking weed.(oh look the first picture from the search "PARIS HILTON GETTING HIGH")
What about her WORSE THAN DON IMUS video clip of her using the feared "N" word? Should a business exec use that kind of language? Would you support a person who uses that word in a hateful way? Look Larry... She pretty much offends everybody in this. Larry does CNN have internet?
Oh and the dreaded medical problem that Sheriff Lee Baca determined was too severe to have her in jail didn't kill her. The Sheriff was wrong. Paris is still alive and not on deaths door or any more of a babbling idiot when she went in.
Could it be that the Hiltons get special treatment from the L.A.P.D.?
Watch this Larry...
Did you ever think to question her on why the L.A.P.D. is so willing to help her out? No you didn't because you're nothing but a puppet. What about the fact she takes prescription speed that cannot be combined with alcohol? Did you want to question her on that? No you didn't Larry. Adderal is a strong amphetamine that is basically a prescription for speed. Something that a person who uses drugs for recreation should not take unmonitored.
Larry are you afraid to call her out on her shit? You don't care about finding the truth you just want people to watch.
Strap on a fuckin' sack Larry King. If this is the way you interview you are no better than a tabloid.
I just read the transcript from tonight's show with Paris Hilton. What was promised to be a "no holds barred" interview was a fluff piece to bolster ratings.
What Businesses does she run? When is she ever in an office? Wait... she doesn't take drugs? WHAT? I'm pretty damn sure if I cared more about this I could drum up some Internet pictures of her smoking weed.(oh look the first picture from the search "PARIS HILTON GETTING HIGH")
What about her WORSE THAN DON IMUS video clip of her using the feared "N" word? Should a business exec use that kind of language? Would you support a person who uses that word in a hateful way? Look Larry... She pretty much offends everybody in this. Larry does CNN have internet?
Oh and the dreaded medical problem that Sheriff Lee Baca determined was too severe to have her in jail didn't kill her. The Sheriff was wrong. Paris is still alive and not on deaths door or any more of a babbling idiot when she went in.
Could it be that the Hiltons get special treatment from the L.A.P.D.?
Watch this Larry...
Did you ever think to question her on why the L.A.P.D. is so willing to help her out? No you didn't because you're nothing but a puppet. What about the fact she takes prescription speed that cannot be combined with alcohol? Did you want to question her on that? No you didn't Larry. Adderal is a strong amphetamine that is basically a prescription for speed. Something that a person who uses drugs for recreation should not take unmonitored.
Larry are you afraid to call her out on her shit? You don't care about finding the truth you just want people to watch.
Strap on a fuckin' sack Larry King. If this is the way you interview you are no better than a tabloid.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
That voice... Where do I know that voice?
Oh yeah now I remember...
It told me to love chickens. Their flesh, their voice and then it told me to kill the world with my cosmetics. Last time I saw him he was peaking out of a car window behind the muzzle flash of a machine gun. No wait... I do recall sometime later seeing a man that looked like him being dropped from a helicopter into a smokestack.
not so PC Tuesday
Today I bite the hand that entertains me.
Disneyland is a place that was built for young and old alike to enjoy. It was designed to be a place where you can leave the stresses of the real world behind and enjoy a world of fantasy. There is even a plaque at the berm as you enter the park that states in so many words that Disney wants you to escape the world of today when you enter.
Disneyland was a place where you could escape the worries of today and enter a world of yesterday or tomorrow. A world of adventure or fantasy. A place where these worlds were so encompassing that you could forget the world outside the park.
As you enter the park you travel under the Disneyland Railroad tracks. This railroad circles the park. While it serves the function as a ride and a shortcut to several lands it also serves as a barrier to the outside world. It was built on a 15 (or so) foot high berm in order to block the view of the outside world from people in the park. It was a brilliant idea that brought home Disney's idea of this being a special place unlike any in the world.
That special place is no more.
It is a poorly maintained walmart at best.
Today in Disneyland there are reminders of the outside world everywhere. In fact at times it is as if Disney is telling you to get out.
Problem #1.
While in the park you are repeatedly reminded that there are activities outside of the park. These are all casual mentions but they serve as a reminder that Disney doesn't just want you in the park they want you out. Be it a reminder that you need to visit Downtown Disney and shop or enjoy California Adventure these reminders tell you that there is a world outside and you cant escape it. More reminders...
Images of Mickey thanking a 9/11 firefighter. Now we know this never happened. Mickey never gave a damn about the firefighters. He is not real. But... the firefighter are real. They sacrificed quite a bit for ... well I'm not sure. They continue to suffer with no help from out government and ... why the hell should I be reminded of that while I am in Disneyland?
Abandoned attractions are now being taken over by outside "vendors" who treat the area like swap meets. Seriously. It is happening. Its like they are squatters.
Problem #2
Those special "Lands" are no more.
At one point (BEFORE Eisner or B.E.) When you entered adventureland the merchandise was solely adventure themed. Not any more. Today you can find Goofy hats and Finding Nemo plushies in any damn land. In fact Adventureland seems to be saturated in Pirates Booty. The real Disneyland of yore would have restricted that crap to New Orleans Square where the ride exists. Rides that don't fit into the theme of the area are a problem. Buzz Lightyear has nothing to do with the world of tomorrow nor does a submarine ride about a fish lost in the year 2003. The misadventures of Winnie the Pooh belongs in Fantasyland along with the other dark rides not in "Critter Country" a suburb of New Orleans Square that has only one other ride( based on a film Disney REFUSES to let the public see!)
At the Penny arcade in main street you can still buy candy and now pick up a copy of your favorite soundtrack on cd... just like the old days.
I can only think of two shops that maintain the immersion theme...
That creepy crystal shop in New Orleans square and the coffee place on main street. All the others seem to have cross purposed their merch in order to sell you something you could get at walmart at a better price.
Problem #3
Disney castmembers.
They used to be so nice. Years of renegotiation and dehumanizing (during Eisners time) have run the lifers out of the park and replaced them with morons who are underpaid, under trained and don't give a damn about the park. It is a village of idiots.
Sloppy confrontational goofballs. Oh and another thing... They are called castmembers we are guests. Why? It used to be that they were called castmembers because it was like putting on a show. Keeping the dream alive. Well now there is no dream and there is no show so I'm going to refer to by what they really are. Temporary employees. That is all they are. No one has a job for life at the park anymore. Up until very recent the name badges in the park used to state the temps name and the year they started working for the Disney. Aside from one person who worked in the gallery all name tags showed less than two years work history.
That is for the idiots who work face to face with the public. God knows how little training the folks who maintain the rides have.
Problem #4
Annual passholders.
Each one with a sense of entitlement.
Disneyland is a place that was built for young and old alike to enjoy. It was designed to be a place where you can leave the stresses of the real world behind and enjoy a world of fantasy. There is even a plaque at the berm as you enter the park that states in so many words that Disney wants you to escape the world of today when you enter.
Disneyland was a place where you could escape the worries of today and enter a world of yesterday or tomorrow. A world of adventure or fantasy. A place where these worlds were so encompassing that you could forget the world outside the park.
As you enter the park you travel under the Disneyland Railroad tracks. This railroad circles the park. While it serves the function as a ride and a shortcut to several lands it also serves as a barrier to the outside world. It was built on a 15 (or so) foot high berm in order to block the view of the outside world from people in the park. It was a brilliant idea that brought home Disney's idea of this being a special place unlike any in the world.
That special place is no more.
It is a poorly maintained walmart at best.
Today in Disneyland there are reminders of the outside world everywhere. In fact at times it is as if Disney is telling you to get out.
Problem #1.
While in the park you are repeatedly reminded that there are activities outside of the park. These are all casual mentions but they serve as a reminder that Disney doesn't just want you in the park they want you out. Be it a reminder that you need to visit Downtown Disney and shop or enjoy California Adventure these reminders tell you that there is a world outside and you cant escape it. More reminders...
Images of Mickey thanking a 9/11 firefighter. Now we know this never happened. Mickey never gave a damn about the firefighters. He is not real. But... the firefighter are real. They sacrificed quite a bit for ... well I'm not sure. They continue to suffer with no help from out government and ... why the hell should I be reminded of that while I am in Disneyland?
Abandoned attractions are now being taken over by outside "vendors" who treat the area like swap meets. Seriously. It is happening. Its like they are squatters.
Problem #2
Those special "Lands" are no more.
At one point (BEFORE Eisner or B.E.) When you entered adventureland the merchandise was solely adventure themed. Not any more. Today you can find Goofy hats and Finding Nemo plushies in any damn land. In fact Adventureland seems to be saturated in Pirates Booty. The real Disneyland of yore would have restricted that crap to New Orleans Square where the ride exists. Rides that don't fit into the theme of the area are a problem. Buzz Lightyear has nothing to do with the world of tomorrow nor does a submarine ride about a fish lost in the year 2003. The misadventures of Winnie the Pooh belongs in Fantasyland along with the other dark rides not in "Critter Country" a suburb of New Orleans Square that has only one other ride( based on a film Disney REFUSES to let the public see!)
At the Penny arcade in main street you can still buy candy and now pick up a copy of your favorite soundtrack on cd... just like the old days.
I can only think of two shops that maintain the immersion theme...
That creepy crystal shop in New Orleans square and the coffee place on main street. All the others seem to have cross purposed their merch in order to sell you something you could get at walmart at a better price.
Problem #3
Disney castmembers.
They used to be so nice. Years of renegotiation and dehumanizing (during Eisners time) have run the lifers out of the park and replaced them with morons who are underpaid, under trained and don't give a damn about the park. It is a village of idiots.
Sloppy confrontational goofballs. Oh and another thing... They are called castmembers we are guests. Why? It used to be that they were called castmembers because it was like putting on a show. Keeping the dream alive. Well now there is no dream and there is no show so I'm going to refer to by what they really are. Temporary employees. That is all they are. No one has a job for life at the park anymore. Up until very recent the name badges in the park used to state the temps name and the year they started working for the Disney. Aside from one person who worked in the gallery all name tags showed less than two years work history.
That is for the idiots who work face to face with the public. God knows how little training the folks who maintain the rides have.
Problem #4
Annual passholders.
Each one with a sense of entitlement.
Monday, June 25, 2007
monday infection
I'm thinkin' "digger" should have his own series. Perhaps team up with a caveman and have the Lamsil/Gieko hour.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Final park post of the day.
How is this legal? Smashing US quarter dollars with a Disney imprint and a big COPYRIGHT symbol on it. (it is on the flipside) My quarter still said "IN GOD WE TRUST" even after the attempt to remove the offending words.
Cats for sale.
Captn Victorville is either looking at the churro or... oh...
he's a tit man.
These two make a pretty picture. They were sitting in the picture spot tea cup as if it were a park bench. Not allowing little kids to have the photo memory of a lifetime. They were just sitting. Having a non-conversation. Fuckwads. Why dont you trade some pins while you waste space.
Cats for sale.
Captn Victorville is either looking at the churro or... oh...
he's a tit man.
These two make a pretty picture. They were sitting in the picture spot tea cup as if it were a park bench. Not allowing little kids to have the photo memory of a lifetime. They were just sitting. Having a non-conversation. Fuckwads. Why dont you trade some pins while you waste space.
Today's top park pet peeve
At the end of main street there stands a building that used to be a restaurant. Now it sits, shuttered. Clearly an abandoned feature in the park. It now is home to the vermin of the park. PIN COLLECTORS. These scum crawl out of their swap meet homes and come to this park to trade pins with their meaty fiveheaded friends. The park allows these yahoos to take over tables that were originally designed for guests to sit and eat. THE TABLES IN THE SHADE! Now these jabbas piss on the area and call it their own. I want to get there before them and take their weekly table away from them and sit all day and do nothing. Just take their space. I want to see them complain! I hate them. Swap meet scum. Go trade your pogs at the drive-in! Disney should not allow this in the park. This is basically creating a third party vendor booth that "trades" wares. Disney is not responsible if a child gets the HANTA VIRUS from these guys rat-pissed self storage tin stars. No license needed!!! Come to Disneyland and get rid of your garbage! I want to get there early and trade Denney menus or underpants or something just to get these guys out of there. They take over the place like they own it and have a right to it.
Go peddle your crap outside the park or on e-bay where you belong.
Go peddle your crap outside the park or on e-bay where you belong.
Park this and that.
I am not too keen on these Mickey Mouse 9/11 pins. Why not make a Katrina pin with Mickey airlifting a family off a roof? Or a pin of Mickey punching Lee Harvey Oswald in the face? Perhaps a pin of Mickey throwing himself in between Hinkley and Regan? Mickey raising the flag at Iwo Jima? (or whatever its called now) Mickey with two bloody Nazi heads on his bayonet? Mickey cheering at Saddam's hanging? These damn firefighter pins are the "WTF were they thinking" when we look back some 20 years from now.
Here's a fuckin pin for ya... Mickey stamping "DENIED" on this firefighers health insurance claim!
The area outside of ITS A SMALL WORLD has become a sea of strollers. As they bake in the sun the air fills with the smell of diapers and rancid breast milk.
Hmm. Comic book Chewie. Kind of a cool action figure.
A painting in the gallery
Painting of the cat on the jungle cruise.
Here's a fuckin pin for ya... Mickey stamping "DENIED" on this firefighers health insurance claim!
The area outside of ITS A SMALL WORLD has become a sea of strollers. As they bake in the sun the air fills with the smell of diapers and rancid breast milk.
Hmm. Comic book Chewie. Kind of a cool action figure.
A painting in the gallery
Painting of the cat on the jungle cruise.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Looking back... not so hot.
Karen Valentine was once the hottie of ABC. Now, looking back, she looks like Fran "The Nanny" Drescher.
Friday, June 22, 2007
New zoo review gets a little blue.
Warning this contains harsh language and intense scenes of oral owl on frog action. Freddie din't get fired for using the other "F: word.
Times have changed.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Its a very good thing you done that Anthony. A very good thing.
That Jack in the box lovin' corn field wishin' freak ass kid was playing the night those people "dissapeared" in the Hollywood Tower Hotel. There is some detail left in ye olde ride churning Disney machine.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
For the Tiki in us all.
To me this is the Tiki anthem. If this were piped over the defunct air raid sirens that lie useless around Los Angeles I would immediately know it was time to hollow out a pineapple and fill it with rum. Quiet Village was, and still is, a remarkable album that puts me in auto tikimode.
This adds to my confusion.
I have always had trouble with accepting that Billie Hayes of HR PUFFINSTUFF and LIDSVILLE was a woman. Even now, I know Witchipoo and that damn genie are both the same FEMALE person I just... dont see it. I have accepted both as very creepy men.
It doesn't help that she also has the same name as the Midnight Express guy.
Billy Hayes was a 23-year-old American student when in 1970 he tried to smuggle hashish out of Istanbul and was caught at the airport and sentenced to 30 years in prison. Hayes escaped in 1975 and wrote a book about his experience, which in '78 was turned into the Oscar-winning movie Midnight Express, directed by Alan Parker with a screenplay by Oliver Stone. Naturally, the Turkish tourist board counted the book and the movie among the worst PR they could imagine and banned the movie until sometime in the '90s and Hayes until this week, when they invited him on a five day, all-expenses-paid trip back to be a panelist at the Istanbul Conference on Global Security.
It doesn't help that she also has the same name as the Midnight Express guy.
Billy Hayes was a 23-year-old American student when in 1970 he tried to smuggle hashish out of Istanbul and was caught at the airport and sentenced to 30 years in prison. Hayes escaped in 1975 and wrote a book about his experience, which in '78 was turned into the Oscar-winning movie Midnight Express, directed by Alan Parker with a screenplay by Oliver Stone. Naturally, the Turkish tourist board counted the book and the movie among the worst PR they could imagine and banned the movie until sometime in the '90s and Hayes until this week, when they invited him on a five day, all-expenses-paid trip back to be a panelist at the Istanbul Conference on Global Security.
Bond 22
Marc Forster will direct the next Bond adventure, due out Nov. 7, 2008.
"I have always been drawn to different kinds of stories and I have also always been a Bond fan, so it is very exciting to take on this challenge," Forster said in a statement Tuesday from Sony Pictures, one of the studios behind the Bond franchise.
"The new direction that the Bond character has taken offers a director a host of fresh possibilities," said Forster, director of last fall's Will Ferrell comedy "Stranger Than Fiction," "Monster's Ball," which won Halle Berry the best-actress Academy Award, and "Finding Neverland," a best-picture Oscar nominee.
Daniel Craig will return to play Bond after his debut as the British superspy in last year's "Casino Royale," a hit with critics that became the top-grossing Bond movie with nearly $600 million worldwide.
The not-yet-titled 22nd Bond movie begins shooting in London this December
"I have always been drawn to different kinds of stories and I have also always been a Bond fan, so it is very exciting to take on this challenge," Forster said in a statement Tuesday from Sony Pictures, one of the studios behind the Bond franchise.
"The new direction that the Bond character has taken offers a director a host of fresh possibilities," said Forster, director of last fall's Will Ferrell comedy "Stranger Than Fiction," "Monster's Ball," which won Halle Berry the best-actress Academy Award, and "Finding Neverland," a best-picture Oscar nominee.
Daniel Craig will return to play Bond after his debut as the British superspy in last year's "Casino Royale," a hit with critics that became the top-grossing Bond movie with nearly $600 million worldwide.
The not-yet-titled 22nd Bond movie begins shooting in London this December
Not so PC Tuesday
Thanks to Austin for digging this up.
A sick fact: the other guests on this show were Wayland Flowers and Madame and Melba Moore.
Try singing this on prime time now! You'd be fined just for knowing the names of these drugs. This clip neglects to do one important thing required for contemporary broadcast, It doesn't "just say no."
It is two old folk playfully rattling off a grocery list of contraband while getting hammered on booze. NOW THATS TV! Somehow this reeks of Bruce Vilanch.
Well thanks to The Regan era, entertainment like the above was replaced by embedded psa's warning us of the danger of drugs.
Screech doesn't do drugs because they smell.
Rat hunt update.
it is 1:11 am.
The little bastard didn't fall for the traps.
I turned off all the lights and waited for him to make a mistake.
He thumped something in the dining room. I now have him trapped in the front closet with nowhere to go. I put a nice yummy trap in there for him. He cant resist. Your stomach will be your undoing my little friend.
I saw him. He is a very handsome little guy. A tree rat. Yep another tree rat. I feel bad that he has to die but... he made the mistake of coming into the house uninvited. I'm sitting hear waiting for the SNAP!
Oh god it just happened and the screaming is horrible. Lots of thrashing about. It is a horrible noise that... just got silent. Hmm. 15 seconds. The clean up is quick too.
Problem solved.
Now to scrub everything. Twice.
Three times.
The little bastard didn't fall for the traps.
I turned off all the lights and waited for him to make a mistake.
He thumped something in the dining room. I now have him trapped in the front closet with nowhere to go. I put a nice yummy trap in there for him. He cant resist. Your stomach will be your undoing my little friend.
I saw him. He is a very handsome little guy. A tree rat. Yep another tree rat. I feel bad that he has to die but... he made the mistake of coming into the house uninvited. I'm sitting hear waiting for the SNAP!
Oh god it just happened and the screaming is horrible. Lots of thrashing about. It is a horrible noise that... just got silent. Hmm. 15 seconds. The clean up is quick too.
Problem solved.
Now to scrub everything. Twice.
Three times.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Cooking with Merrill Howard Kalin.
He is more entertaining than any morning show currently on network TV.
WTF Who has been hiding these clips all these years?
Thanks "other" John! The opening is too funny. They were very serious about children's perception of seeing a Lynda Carter special and not a Wonder Woman special. This intro was on the insistence of Doug Cramer. If Wonder Woman introduces Lynda Carter then children will not be disillusioned that Wonder Woman does not exist. But if Wonder Woman is real then we have to assume Nazis, shoe-boxed shaped dog robots, Debra Winger and Helen Hunt are real too. We all know better.
Here is a twisted bonus:
RAT ALERT
So the little bastard in the basement has ventured into the house. Thanks to my handy portable "Dateline" jizz detector. (a foot and a half florescent Black Light) I have found the creep. Yes, its true, Dale Grivel has actually taught me something. Rats will leave a trail that is visible under black light. I can see where he came in. He came in via a gap in an access door in the pantry. His route was straight to the catfood. The cat, Pen, and I were sleeping on the couch and about 245am we both sat up because we heard something crunching the catfood. I ran in to hear a THUMP. I didnt see anything but the thump came from the back of the fridge. I looked and didnt see anything. So I sat with the lights off motionless for two hours waiting for the crunching of cat food. Pen was no longer interested and fell asleep on the couch. I finally heard a loud thump and flicked on the flashlight and saw it peeking out from the bottom of the fridge. BASTARD!
I panicked and got the Raid and sprayed it all around the fridge screaming "DIE DIE DIIIIIEEEEE" (I'm sure the neighbors heard) Then I got the extra rat traps from the basement and placed it out of cats reach behind the fridge.(BTW one of the traps was baited in the basement but somehow the bait was eaten and the trap was not sprung. This may be a very smart rat.) It is inside the damn fridge! How the hell do I get it out? I plugged up his escape route and I checked with the black light just before sun up and he hasn't left the fridge. Dear god I hope the bug spray didn't kill it. I hope the neck snapping traps do.
I have been up all night trying to kill this thing. I dont want to empty the food out and tip the fridge over but... It feels like I just might have to do that.
Scummy diseased fucker. I will kill you!
I'm just sitting here waiting for the whoosh snapsqueal of ye olde rat trap.
So tired yet need to kill intruder greater than need for sleep. Just die already.
Oh how did I know I had rat in the basement? Well We did a film last year and their was some left over fake blood. I wanted to save it for Halloween to pour over the graveyard body bits. So I had it down in the basement. This is expensive crap because it sort of clots like blood and gets darker. So it WAS down there with a few bloodied body bits. You know how you hear stories of rats chewing thru lead pipes to get at the sewer water inside? Well this damn rat chewed thru all my bottles of fake blood and drank it. ALL OF IT! he then proceeded to eat the blood off the body bits. This is why I put traps down there and I thought the lil vampire was gone. Nope, he just moved in with me upstairs. I want to hose out the house and disinfect everything. Trap Please PLEASE work.
I panicked and got the Raid and sprayed it all around the fridge screaming "DIE DIE DIIIIIEEEEE" (I'm sure the neighbors heard) Then I got the extra rat traps from the basement and placed it out of cats reach behind the fridge.(BTW one of the traps was baited in the basement but somehow the bait was eaten and the trap was not sprung. This may be a very smart rat.) It is inside the damn fridge! How the hell do I get it out? I plugged up his escape route and I checked with the black light just before sun up and he hasn't left the fridge. Dear god I hope the bug spray didn't kill it. I hope the neck snapping traps do.
I have been up all night trying to kill this thing. I dont want to empty the food out and tip the fridge over but... It feels like I just might have to do that.
Scummy diseased fucker. I will kill you!
I'm just sitting here waiting for the whoosh snapsqueal of ye olde rat trap.
So tired yet need to kill intruder greater than need for sleep. Just die already.
Oh how did I know I had rat in the basement? Well We did a film last year and their was some left over fake blood. I wanted to save it for Halloween to pour over the graveyard body bits. So I had it down in the basement. This is expensive crap because it sort of clots like blood and gets darker. So it WAS down there with a few bloodied body bits. You know how you hear stories of rats chewing thru lead pipes to get at the sewer water inside? Well this damn rat chewed thru all my bottles of fake blood and drank it. ALL OF IT! he then proceeded to eat the blood off the body bits. This is why I put traps down there and I thought the lil vampire was gone. Nope, he just moved in with me upstairs. I want to hose out the house and disinfect everything. Trap Please PLEASE work.
Google Earth Rocks
I would never have been able to see this:
I found what looks to be a horrible plane crash.
Guess where...
Go ahead guess!
I found what looks to be a horrible plane crash.
Guess where...
Go ahead guess!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Little baby robot chicken.
Seth Green for Nerf
Posted Jun 13, 2007Seth Green takes it to the mall and lays down the law in the form of soft foam projectiles. Borat fans will be pleased to see proper usage of the "NOT" joke.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Toby Fleischman never lies.
Vin Diesel is not gay.
Vin Diesel is not gay.
Vin Diesel is not gay.
oh.... wait...
emascu-bat
What???
No giant codpiece? No nipples?
The new batsuit. A "no nonsense" approach to the outfit for todays revenge motivated killier.
Not because I like it
Why why in the hell did I just watch SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND?
WHY?
1. I remember the trailers for the film were airing at the same time STAR WARS was being re-released in theaters in 1978. It looked very colorful.
2. It cant be as bad as I remember.
3. I don't remember much.
4. Netflix made it easy.
An ill-advised attempt to bring the music of The Beatles to life in the pre-MTV era. The only performers who seem to have a pulse are Aerosmith ("Come Together") and Billy Preston ("Get Back"). Everyone else is on autopilot. Alice Cooper ("Because"), Steve Martin ("Maxwell's Silver Hammer") and a properly embarrassed looking George Burns ("Fixing a Hole"), who also narrates the story, opt to talk their way through songs. The film is nothing short of a disaster. RSO Records shipped 500,000 copies of the film's soundtrack to record stores when the film was released, immediately earning a Gold Record Award for the producers and performers. But when retailers couldn't give the albums away and the film died at the box office, the Recording Industry Association of America (which issues the awards) reportedly asked for the awards back. Making a promise it couldn't keep, the studio used the advertising slogan: "A Splendid Time Is Guaranteed For All."
The one thing this film does is TOTALLY encapsulate the weird transition-phase that pop-culture went through as it kissed the seventies goodbye and leaped into the eighties. Everything is SO colorful, everyone looks SO innocent. It was a forced look. Thats not to say that this was the music and the attitude of the time but the difference in the films world to anything in the real world shows you the drastic change pop music was going through at the time.
I have to say the film is pretty horrible. It is nonstop music as if it tried to be TOMMY but couldn't pull it off without a sappy narration. Peter Frampton looks like a little kid. I thought he was so old and bald when this film came out but he looks fairly young and slightly retarded. The is not one BEE GEE that is remotely good looking. Steve Martin's shtick is not funny and again retarded but this being his screen debut... I'll cut him some slack.
If I remember correctly there was some union flack when this film was made... some sort of strike or labor dispute. I cant find anything on the internets about the filmmaking climate at the time this was made. Anyone have any info on this film and the troubles it faced please let me know.
The only redeeming thing about this film is the ability to see what Sunset Blvd. looked like in the late 70's. Lots of nice, wide, location shots showing off the strip. Wait ... there is one more thing...
This was the only on screen appearance in a motion picture by Minnie Riperton. She is in the final scene.
5. (real reason why I saw it) I wanted to get myself ready for the release of what could be called the sequel to this horrid film SEE THE NEW FILM TRAILER HERE
Friday, June 15, 2007
Those are in Holland and they don't need your finger either
Oooohhha Saaaaayy can you seeeeeeee?
Rochester, New York police are now searching for gay bashers who assaulted two groups of people earlier this month in separate attacks. A total of eight people were attacked, beaten, kicked, and hit with a metal pipe according to reports.
Instead of arresting the gay bashers, police arrested the victims, even calling one of them a "drunken dyke."
At the time, Rochester City Councilman Bill Pritchard spoke to WROC: "When something like this does happen it causes everybody and certainly it caused me to pause and certainly register a certain amount of shock. I will not rest until I know with certainty all appropriate action has been taken. Your city government is on top of this, the mayor's office, the police department, the chief of police, myself, the city council, the council president. Your city government is being very responsive and taking immediate action to investigate what happened."
Now, after an internal investigation the city is furiously trying to backtrack, appealing to the public for tips that would identify the attackers.
Said Mayor Robert Duffy: "Somebody has to know who they are. It was an unprovoked attack."
Police Chief David Moore added, "I want to know more than anyone what happened on June 1 about 2:30 in the morning. We did have an opportunity early on to identify the individuals. ... We need to go back and make that right."
The suspects are two men and two women, thought to be in their twenties.
Rochester, New York police are now searching for gay bashers who assaulted two groups of people earlier this month in separate attacks. A total of eight people were attacked, beaten, kicked, and hit with a metal pipe according to reports.
Instead of arresting the gay bashers, police arrested the victims, even calling one of them a "drunken dyke."
At the time, Rochester City Councilman Bill Pritchard spoke to WROC: "When something like this does happen it causes everybody and certainly it caused me to pause and certainly register a certain amount of shock. I will not rest until I know with certainty all appropriate action has been taken. Your city government is on top of this, the mayor's office, the police department, the chief of police, myself, the city council, the council president. Your city government is being very responsive and taking immediate action to investigate what happened."
Now, after an internal investigation the city is furiously trying to backtrack, appealing to the public for tips that would identify the attackers.
Said Mayor Robert Duffy: "Somebody has to know who they are. It was an unprovoked attack."
Police Chief David Moore added, "I want to know more than anyone what happened on June 1 about 2:30 in the morning. We did have an opportunity early on to identify the individuals. ... We need to go back and make that right."
The suspects are two men and two women, thought to be in their twenties.
No room at the inn... for F@ggots.
At 34, John Garon found himself on the street.
After a short stay at one city homeless shelter, he moved to another. That stay was cut short once the shelter's director found out he was gay, Garon said.
Garon had been staying at the Fort Collins Colorado Open Door Mission for about three weeks, paying the $5 per-night fee or helping out with maintenance or other chores when he was told by the Rev. Richard Thebo, the shelter's director, he wasn't welcome to use the shelter anymore, Garon said.
When Thebo told him why, Garon was shocked.
"He said 'I don't allow homosexuals to use these facilities,' " Garon said. "I was blown away ... To be put out for something I can't change has profoundly impacted me."
But Thebo tells a different story.
Garon was asked to leave after he "hit on" another man at the shelter, which led to a fight, Thebo said.
Staff and other clients were "very put out" by Garon, Thebo said, because he'd flaunt his sexuality.
Garon said he never made any advances toward anyone at the shelter and made only occasional, passing comments about his ex-partner.
However, even if Garon had not gotten into the altercation, he still could have been denied a bed at the shelter simply for being gay, Thebo said.
Gays and lesbians are allowed to eat meals and take showers at the facility, Thebo said, but are not allowed to sleep in the shelter.
"I will not let them exert their sexuality here," he said. "Men have to sleep next to other men (in the shelter)."
... and the hoooooooooome of the braaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!
After a short stay at one city homeless shelter, he moved to another. That stay was cut short once the shelter's director found out he was gay, Garon said.
Garon had been staying at the Fort Collins Colorado Open Door Mission for about three weeks, paying the $5 per-night fee or helping out with maintenance or other chores when he was told by the Rev. Richard Thebo, the shelter's director, he wasn't welcome to use the shelter anymore, Garon said.
When Thebo told him why, Garon was shocked.
"He said 'I don't allow homosexuals to use these facilities,' " Garon said. "I was blown away ... To be put out for something I can't change has profoundly impacted me."
But Thebo tells a different story.
Garon was asked to leave after he "hit on" another man at the shelter, which led to a fight, Thebo said.
Staff and other clients were "very put out" by Garon, Thebo said, because he'd flaunt his sexuality.
Garon said he never made any advances toward anyone at the shelter and made only occasional, passing comments about his ex-partner.
However, even if Garon had not gotten into the altercation, he still could have been denied a bed at the shelter simply for being gay, Thebo said.
Gays and lesbians are allowed to eat meals and take showers at the facility, Thebo said, but are not allowed to sleep in the shelter.
"I will not let them exert their sexuality here," he said. "Men have to sleep next to other men (in the shelter)."
... and the hoooooooooome of the braaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Bad Bad Bad Parent Wednesday
The parents of a boy who told police he was locked in his room for extended periods of time and given little to eat each face charges including felony child abuse, police said.
On May 10, Winston-Salem Police officers were dispatched to Southeast Middle School to investigate a child abuse report.
The victim said he had been abused in his home by his parents, Paul and Debbie Salvetti, police said in a press release.
Police interviewed the boy, whose name has not been released, and noticed that he was malnourished. He weighed 87 pounds that day - two pounds lighter than two years ago. (Remember he’s 13!) The boy gained 10 pounds in four days after being taken to a hospital.
The boy is now in the custody of the Department of Social Services and his parents are in jail on $5,000 bond.
Paul Joseph Salvetti, 44, of 5175 Toucan Lane, was charged with one count of felony child abuse and one count of misdemeanor child neglect. Debbie Salvetti, 38, of the same address, was charged with two counts of felony child abuse and one count of misdemeanor child neglect.
They turned themselves in and were each placed in the Forsyth County jail under $5,000 bonds. Their trial date was set for June 29.
On May 10, Winston-Salem Police officers were dispatched to Southeast Middle School to investigate a child abuse report.
The victim said he had been abused in his home by his parents, Paul and Debbie Salvetti, police said in a press release.
Police interviewed the boy, whose name has not been released, and noticed that he was malnourished. He weighed 87 pounds that day - two pounds lighter than two years ago. (Remember he’s 13!) The boy gained 10 pounds in four days after being taken to a hospital.
The boy is now in the custody of the Department of Social Services and his parents are in jail on $5,000 bond.
Paul Joseph Salvetti, 44, of 5175 Toucan Lane, was charged with one count of felony child abuse and one count of misdemeanor child neglect. Debbie Salvetti, 38, of the same address, was charged with two counts of felony child abuse and one count of misdemeanor child neglect.
They turned themselves in and were each placed in the Forsyth County jail under $5,000 bonds. Their trial date was set for June 29.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
