Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Don't speed on the Fwy if your tires are crappy.

Traveling through Glendale on the 134 my car decided to blow a tire. Yes I was speeding. Yes it was a true blow out. Yes I'm ok. It was pretty freaky. Thank god for that doughnut spare.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

If I only knew.


THE OFFICE convention in Scranton PA was THIS weekend. Damn it!
I missed it!

The giant Dwight head is crackin' me up.

I'm on the fence


I find myself laughing more at Gilbert than any other funny idiot out there. He is an outstanding Howard Stern guest. If he'd just stay away from doing voiceovers he'd be on my list as funny.

Quit your day job.





There was once a time where Bill Cosby was funny. Then notsomuch. These people are in the notsomuch phase of their career.

Rodney Allen Rippy (forgotten but not gone)






From 1974. Rodney riding the downward slope from peak of fame.


As for those Jack in the Box commercials....
I cant find a single one

Friday, October 26, 2007

Jack in the Box, 1970's


Jack in the Box, 1970's, originally uploaded by Roadsidepictures.

This guy "RodesidePictures" has an outstanding collection.

Kraft Chocolate Flavored Topping, 1976

Bob Burns Restaurant, 1950's

The North Hollywood Location. Dig that crazy phone number!

Cinerama Press Ticket


Cinerama Press Ticket, originally uploaded by Roadsidepictures.

It wasn't just at the dome ya know. The Warner had a wonderful louvered screen.

No Luke...This is horrible.

Like they do it in harlem

I think they picked up the wrong "Dog".



I can't stand her mug.
She used to be funny before she decided to tell everyone about her sexin' girly needs.
Now she seems desperate.

Just sayin'.

You go and love her "funny" ways all you want. If thats the kind of funny that makes you laugh you just go ahead and laugh your little brain out.

I'm just sayin' she no longer strikes me as a funny person.

Finally on DVD November 20th




I think I swallowed a bug.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Finally.


I was able to prove I can work in the U.S.
I was not able to find my SS card but I have several other documents showing I'm me.

What a pain that was.

Word of advise: Always know where your Social security card is .

I'm was seriously sweating this. I had no way of getting to the SS office since they all close at 4pm. I'm training and I couldn't afford to miss a day.

Monday, October 22, 2007

AHH HA!



Yet another Vader dub. This one has it's good moments.

I cant stop laughing.






For those who want to actually hear the real audio:

oh crap. I just found a diary. I'll be posting from that soon.

As soon as i find my damn SS card.
Have any of you seen my social security card lately?

Pen Update.

Pen is doing much better. He is walking around with his head up and eating on his own. Thanks to a dear freind who contributed to the pen fund this morning I now have enough to pay for his vet bill. I want to thank you all for being so kind during this hidious time.

Berenstain bears


Berenstain bears, originally uploaded by scottyferguson.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Disneyland today.



I got sleepy and figured no one would care if I took a nap.

No one did.

Super tuber


Super tuber 8, originally uploaded by scottyferguson.

The official site claims that this is a "finger food."
There is no way to eat this thing with your hands. It is a scalding hot potato that stinks like a hot dog. It has to be cut up on a plate. And while you are cutting it up on a plate remind yourself that you could have just cooked a potato and a hot dog and had the same thing without all the fuss. You lose most of the potato in the "core" process and the hot dog is not uniformly cooked.
MMMM doesn't that look yummy. It tastes just like it looks. This is one time I can say SLATHER is an appropriate word to use at the table. Ample Mustard Slathering.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Larry Craig Super Tuber night






Larry Craig,
There is something wrong with you. Why would you eat this? Why not cook a potato and a hot dog? It's easier than making a SuperTuber. Most of the potato is cored out and wasted and lets face it it looks obscene. If I was a male hooker and you brought me back to your motel 6 and fed me this from your hotplate I'd be pretty upset. I'm pretty sure I'd beat you senseless with the hotplate.

Just sayin'.

Pen update

Pen is back home. His kidneys functions got better by 25% so that was enough to send him home. He still has to get an IV every day and return to the hospital in two weeks. He is able to walk around but has little trouble holding his head up. He is still weighs about 6 lbs. half of his normal body weight. He is very happy to see people. He got very excited to see his old pal MAGICK FILMS tonight. He ran up to him to say hello. He loves people and was very happy to have guests come to visit. Everyone just left and he is exhausted. He's just hangin' out on the couch curled up in a ball snoozing away. Tomorrow morning he gets his IV again. Since he has some strength back I suspect that process is going to be very unpleasent.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Pen is home for the night.

He has a tube in his front paw but other than that he is in better spirits than when he was dropped off. He is eating. Thats good. He seems to have more energy than this morning. He had enough energy to hiss at the Vet and let him know he doesn't like all the poking. He'll spend the night at home then at 8am go back to the kitty hospital to get hooked up again. He gets his blood tested tomorrow afternoon. That is the crucial test that will determine if he is actually getting any better. The tube is stuck in his right paw. He is a right paw'd cat. He cant stand not being able to gesture with his good paw. He double taps (tap tap=food. tap=need to get under covers. tap tap. tap tap=more food now.) when he wants something and he is not able to do it with his bandaged paw.

Ye olde Beatles cover.

Coke now with nipple.


Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and 'fitting in' during those awkward pre-teen and teen years.

Pen update

His condition is worse. I dont' know what happens now. I'm going to take him back to the vet. I don't think there is anything anyone can do. I can't stop crying. I dont want him to die. I don't want him to continue to suffer. Why cant he be the usual happy cat? why him? The IV is not working and he now refuses to eat. He is very weak and cant get up.
He has to go into hospital. There is no other option. He has dangerous levels of amonia and nitrogen in his system and he needs to be hydrated for the next two days. The levels are so high they are affecting his brain. He staggers around and cant lift his head. He hovers over the water dish trying to drink inches away from it. I'm picking him up at 5pm so he can come home. They don't do anything at night aside from board him so He's going to come home tonight and go back at 8am tomorrow.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I was sent this today.

Sugar it does a body good

Yahoo advert.


I'm not kidding this just popped up on my yahoo account.
I'm disgusted.

Kludd?


Kludd indeed.

Welcome to the newly refurbished CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE



He look ma I'm hefalump poop!
Too bad Nicole Kidman's elephant-shaped apartment in "Moulin Rouge" didn't have this escape route. Ya just cant count on Australians for comic relief.

Pen

His condition is a little worse. He cant seem to hold his head up. He walks around with his head down and looks at the floor when he walks. The vet tells me his inability to hold is head up IS, as my sister feared, due to a lack of potassium. The problem is you cannot give him potassium because too much will adversely affect his little kitty kidneys. The only chance he has of recovering is if the IV restores his kidney functions. The IV should give him enough potassium and give the him the ability to hold his head up. I just gave him the IV and he is resting.
He no longer meows but he does purr. Thats good.

The IV seems to help a little bit but he is clearly weak. The food he eats is perscription food from the vet and does not seem to upset him like normal food does.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Good news.

I secured a job. I start this monday. It is still going to be a real tight week.
Thanks to contributions from readers like you:
Pen has low protien food.
He gets his home IV hydration which is pretty barbaric. It is basicly pouring Lactate Ringers (you old folk may remember that was the all purpose solution to everything on the show EMERGENCY!) under his skin. His body then absorbs the fluid and it in turn flushes out his kidneys. He gets a lump under his skin like he is a furry water bottle. Today he ate by himself but something new is going on. He doesnt want to lift his head. It may just be that he is in pain as the back of his neck is where the IV gets inserted.

Poor lil cat. He's not out of the woods but he is not starving and is willingly eating.
Thank you kind people. Pen is a good cat and his illlness happened at the wrong time.
I am in your debt and eternally grateful.

Anderson Cooper at his best.



Meanwhile an 8 year old fills in for Anderson Cooper on CNN.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Amazing timing.


The Force will soon be coming to a television near you.
George Lucas finally publicly announced Tuesday he is planning a live-action television series spinoff of the "Star Wars" film franchise. Lucas told The Los Angeles Times he has "just begun work" on the series, which will not include the films' major characters Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader.

"The Skywalkers aren't in it, and it's about minor characters," Lucas told the Times.

Lucas wouldn't reveal details, but joked that the series would be about "the life of robots." (Hoojibs anyone?)
Lucas already has another television series in the works. Lucas Animation has been working for months on the computer-animated "Star Wars: The Clone Wars."

Too bad the people who could assure viewers they are getting the best possible viewing experience are no longer willing to verify this program.

The $15.00 secret.

Orson Welles' 1941 Oscar for "Citizen Kane," considered one of the greatest movies of all time, will go on the auction block in December. The Academy Award for Best Screenplay is estimated to sell for between $800,000 and $1.2 million, Sotheby's auction house said Tuesday.


It is the only Oscar Welles ever won. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said it has no plans to block the sale.

"We're never happy to see Academy Awards go on sale," said Bruce Davis, executive director of the academy.

The golden statuette, believed to have been once lost by Welles himself, resurfaced in 1994, and after an extended legal battle was returned to his estate.
In 2003, it was acquired by the Dax Foundation, a Los Angeles-based charity. The proceeds will help fund the organization's worldwide efforts.
"Citizen Kane," a story about a power hungry publishing magnate played by Welles and "widely believed to be based on the life of William Randolph Hearst, was voted the number one film in history by the American Film Institute in 2007 and by the British Film Institute in 2002.
The Oscar will be sold Dec. 11 and displayed at Sotheby's in New York on Dec. 7-10.

Here is the big secret. Every Oscar can be sold however there is a clause with the Acadamy that they have first dibs on the statuette and it can be purchased by them for only $15.00 . So kiddies if you plan on bidding on Wells Oscar remember the value is only $15.00 . If you are toting around with an oscar in your back pocket thinking this will be the ultimate nest-egg E-bay retirement item you are sadly mistaken. Ya hear me Miss Paquin?

Pen


I have to give him an I.V. once a day. His kidneys are failing.
I'm jobless and can't afford a kitty hospital so I have opted to administer the treatment myself. If he does not improve in the next few weeks there is only one option.

I'm not so happy.

He is my friend. He is the only one who has been there for me through the death of my mother and my own health problems. I know it sound sappy but he is my best friend. He is in pain but he is alert and aware and mobile. The vet does not think he will be this way two weeks from now if his kidneys functions continue to decline. He is now on a no protien diet. How the hell are you supposed to get a cat to eat non-protien food? PETCO sucks and does not carry the food he needs. I need to go back to the vet to get the food. This has set us back to the point of no return. I need to find a job before the week is out. He is in serious shape but we both are if I don't get a job soon. No income is not an option. He needs me to have a job. I need me to have a job.

Renew!



I love the future. Clearly the future is a mall of full of idiots. (kinda like today) No one knows how anything works ya just know it does work. (also like present day)
Things we know as constants are gone. Government, taxes, suffering, disease, old age.
What a wonderful place to be an idiot.


Boy in 1976 this was THE film. What a film. I remember trying to see it at the Winnetka Drive-In but it was always sold out. The first time I saw it was looking out the back window of a Torino and listening to The Apple Dumpling Gang audio. Boy I wanted to be at screen #3 so bad it hurt. Even watching it without sound was great. After its theatrical run it became a staple film of ON tv. the local scrambled over the air cable station. (channel 52 oak broadcasting Corona) I watched that damn movie as much as I could. When the TV series came along you know damn well I never missed an episode. The TV show didn't seem to come fromt the same future as the film. The TV show had many different types of people living outside the domed Dallas mall. In fact the technology outside the dome seemed to be better than that of people inside the dome city.
The TV show was bad.
But it still had those great shots of the city. You know the ones. Buildings made of rainbow tape. It looks exactly like Ork the planet Mork came form.

Try NEW YOU 483.



Oh... and Holly wants "dark hair"

Overwhelming am I not?

Fish, and plankton, and sea greens, and protein from the sea. It's all here. Ready! Fresh as harvest day!



I'm ready andy you're ready. It's my job, To freeze you!

I hate outside! I hate it!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Sunday, October 14, 2007

1 -800-





Click the title of this post to read about the autopsy man and how he created this superhero persona.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Keep your Trapp shut.


Werner von Trapp, a member of the musical family made famous by the 1965 movie "The Sound of Music," has died, his family said. He was 91.

Von Trapp died Thursday at his home in Waitsfield. The cause of death was not announced. The family confirmed his death, but declined to comment further.

"The Sound of Music" was based loosely on a 1949 book by his stepmother, Maria von Trapp, who died in 1987. It tells the story of an Austrian woman who married a widower with seven children and teaches them music.

Born in 1915 in Zell am See, Austria, von Trapp was the fourth child and second son of Captain Georg von Trapp and his first wife, Agathe Whitehead. In the movie "The Sound of Music," Werner von Trapp was depicted by the character named Kurt.

During the 1930s, von Trapp studied cello and became proficient on several other instruments. He sang tenor with his family's choir, The Trapp Family Singers, who won great acclaim throughout Europe after their debut in 1935.

In 1938, von Trapp and his family escaped from Nazi-occupied Austria. After they arrived in New York, the family became popular with concert audiences. The family eventually settled in Vermont.

During World War II, von Trapp served in Europe with the U.S. Army.

After the war, von Trapp returned to his family's farm in Stowe and resumed touring with the family choir.

After the Trapp Family Singers retired, von Trapp helped to found a music school in Reading, Penn., called the Community School of Music.

Several years later he brought his family back to Vermont and eventually settled on a dairy farm in Waitsfield where he farmed with his family until he retired in 1979. He spent the years after his retirement traveling and weaving, spinning, and crocheting.

Maria von Trapp died in 1987.

He is survived by his wife of 58 years, Erika, and six children. He is also survived by three sisters and one brother.

Friday, October 12, 2007

He wasn't my real uncle


Gnome in Toronto Window, originally uploaded by mandalaybus.

He used to let me sit in the kiddie pool all day long while he watched from the upstairs window.

Concerned.


Monkey in Lao, originally uploaded by mandalaybus.

This Monkey is worried his hair might be in the hot dog he just sold you.

Where is the feedbag?

It went well. Until today I've never gone into an interview for EXACTLY the same job. It's kind of bizzare.

I'll know more monday morning.
I have to say this place will make me lose weight. Everyone EVERYONE is boney. They all look hot. I felt very very vvveerrrrryy fat.
The position was described to me as if they were reading my resume' back to me. It was odd.

Klutzoverload

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And here is a picture of Klutzo in the "House of Joy"

Bad Star Wars blowjob

Holy Jisus

NEW!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Ultimate Friday.


Somewhere in San Rafael a receptionist is signing for a Fed Ex box full of mostly human feces.

Whats with the tie?

I got a bite!

I hope it works out. Nice benefits.

Thursday.

Lots of leads. No luck.

Getting kinda bummed.

Trapped in the house. Saving gas for when I need to actually go somewhere. Checking e-mail way too often. I think I'll go for a walk.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Where have all the Mandellas gone



The following IQs of each president as accurate to within five percentage points:

147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
132 Harry Truman (D)
122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
174 John F. Kennedy (D)
126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
121 Gerald Ford (R)
175 James E. Carter (D)
105 Ronald Reagan (R)
098 George HW Bush (R)
182 William J. Clinton (D)
091 George W. Bush (R)

Mitt out wheelchair.



What a jerkface. Who would vote for this guy?

If this guy was in Mitt's family he would have to travel on the roof of the family wagoneer.

Damn it!

Since I have been working at night for the past year and snacking on junk. None of my "Hey I'm looking for a job" clothes fit.

Damn it!

Getting the word out there and not getting any response. Don't these people know I need to start today?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Now hiring milkers



I don't want to work on "that" farm no more.